I have watched each episode of Roseanne in chronological order! I had intended to do it all in 2012, but would up a few episodes short. So now it's 1/3/13, and I've finally finished them.
It was really nice to see everything in order. I really liked a lot of the arcs, and watching everyone develop. It was also interesting to see where the crazytown came in (early season 8) and watch it ebb and flow.
I've used the following to view Roseanne:
-DVDs
-Netflix
-TIVOed episodes
-YouTube
The TIVOed episodes were the worst, because not only did they have commercials, you could also tell when they were cutting time out of the original episode for more commercials.
I really wish that Roseanne aired episodes with pop-ups, like they do for I <3 80s="" br="">
Well that's it on Roseanne. Thank you 2012!
Thursday, January 03, 2013
Roseanne: Season 9, Episodes 23 & 24: Into that Good Night
DJ is getting kicked out of the big bedroom so David, Darlene, and the baby can move in.
Harris Conner Healy is home!
Darlene wants to stay at home and learn from Roseanne.
I heart Roseanne and Darlene heart to heart time.
They say grace over pizza to say thanks for everything.
Everyone says hi to the baby.
Becky and mark are pregnant too!
And now for the ending...Roseanne was really writing about her life and rewrote it the way it should be. Dan actually died from the heart attack, David and Becky are together and so are Mark and Darlene. Jackie is gay.
And now she's back in her writing room. Explaining that the whole last season was her coping with Dan's death.
And that when Darlene's baby almost died she realized she had to choose life.
I actually think its a nice ending. Rewriting your own life to make it the way it should be. And writing as therapeutic to cope and understand and make sense of your world.
Harris Conner Healy is home!
Darlene wants to stay at home and learn from Roseanne.
I heart Roseanne and Darlene heart to heart time.
They say grace over pizza to say thanks for everything.
Everyone says hi to the baby.
Becky and mark are pregnant too!
And now for the ending...Roseanne was really writing about her life and rewrote it the way it should be. Dan actually died from the heart attack, David and Becky are together and so are Mark and Darlene. Jackie is gay.
And now she's back in her writing room. Explaining that the whole last season was her coping with Dan's death.
And that when Darlene's baby almost died she realized she had to choose life.
I actually think its a nice ending. Rewriting your own life to make it the way it should be. And writing as therapeutic to cope and understand and make sense of your world.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 22: Arsenic and Old Mom
Dans mom shows up at 2am
Audrey Conner. Freshly released from the nut house. But she's clearly still nutty. And possibly wishing evil upon Dan. Since Dan through her into the nuthouse.
And apparently she is trying to kill him.
So more drugs!
Audrey Conner. Freshly released from the nut house. But she's clearly still nutty. And possibly wishing evil upon Dan. Since Dan through her into the nuthouse.
And apparently she is trying to kill him.
So more drugs!
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 21: The Truth Be Told
Tv networks want the rights to make Roseanne's life story into a movie
The first guy says fat doesn't work in prime time so he wants Melanie Griffith to play her. He's also a douche.
The 2nd one is a chick named bobby. From a cable channel. Who wants to add nudity and swearing and gay people.
The first guy says fat doesn't work in prime time so he wants Melanie Griffith to play her. He's also a douche.
The 2nd one is a chick named bobby. From a cable channel. Who wants to add nudity and swearing and gay people.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 20: Roseanne-Feld
Jackie and Mark go to a wrestling march. And it stars Coach Beast from Glee! In the previous weirdo episodes that I didn't blog about, they
had the principle from Glee too.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 19: The Miracle
Premie! She's hooked up to lots of machines and has a low chance of
making it. She needs machines to breathe for her. They decide she should
experience life without tubes. So they take her out and hold her and
love her. Seems a little strange, just a bit forced to have a deep
moment with all the Conner women. But it's tv. And the baby makes it
even without the tubes so all is well.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 18: A Second Chance
Darlene is in early labor. And drugs aren't helping. They give her the
drug of last resort to stop the contractions. And her doctor is captain Craigen from Law and Order SVU.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 15: The War Room
More emotional eating. This time in bed.
Old school video camera!
They've decided they have to get her out. David fails spectacularly. Darlene has been in too long. Leon fails too
Heather goes in. And confronts Roseanne. Now Nancy with her crystals.
Mark comes in with something big. He thinks Dan is staying at the hotel because he wants to come home.
And now Roseanne is up! And thankful of her peeps.
Old school video camera!
They've decided they have to get her out. David fails spectacularly. Darlene has been in too long. Leon fails too
Heather goes in. And confronts Roseanne. Now Nancy with her crystals.
Mark comes in with something big. He thinks Dan is staying at the hotel because he wants to come home.
And now Roseanne is up! And thankful of her peeps.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 14: Hit the Road Jack
Roseanne has a car phone. She's driving around avoiding Dan.
Mother cluckers chicken to eat
DJ meets a girl at the video store. Heather. I recognize her from the princess diaries.
Now at Bucky burger.
Dan leaves.
Roseanne has a small meltdown.
Mother cluckers chicken to eat
DJ meets a girl at the video store. Heather. I recognize her from the princess diaries.
Now at Bucky burger.
Dan leaves.
Roseanne has a small meltdown.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 13: Say it Ain't So
Jackie confronts Dan. Dan is conflicted. He and mystery woman have feelings for each other but haven't done anything.
350 thread count sheets. The height of luxury...
Prince Carlos just married his chamber maid. Says the tabloids.
Apparently Dan was gone 6 months? This season feels like a time warp.
Dan confronts Roseanne. Badly. He still loves Roseanne but has feelings for the other woman. Why do you tell her that? Are you breaking up with Roseanne? Or with the other woman? Don't act all sad and conflicted because you don't know what you want. Figure it out.
Good Jackie speech tho.
350 thread count sheets. The height of luxury...
Prince Carlos just married his chamber maid. Says the tabloids.
Apparently Dan was gone 6 months? This season feels like a time warp.
Dan confronts Roseanne. Badly. He still loves Roseanne but has feelings for the other woman. Why do you tell her that? Are you breaking up with Roseanne? Or with the other woman? Don't act all sad and conflicted because you don't know what you want. Figure it out.
Good Jackie speech tho.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 12: Home for the Holidays
Dan is back! And they all fail at understanding airplane arrival times.
And Dan is all awkward.
Giant Christmas tree!
Mark is wearing glasses. That's new.
Bed time for the kiddies. But it's still light outside.
And cut to Christmas morning.
Darlene gets a PowerBook! Mark gets snakeskin boots. Jewelry for the other wimmins.
Roseanne gives Dan the mortgage and a zippo. Cute. And Dan cries.
Then Jackie overhears the phonecall- Dan calling his mistress. I don't like it! Stupid.
Boo.
And Dan is all awkward.
Giant Christmas tree!
Mark is wearing glasses. That's new.
Bed time for the kiddies. But it's still light outside.
And cut to Christmas morning.
Darlene gets a PowerBook! Mark gets snakeskin boots. Jewelry for the other wimmins.
Roseanne gives Dan the mortgage and a zippo. Cute. And Dan cries.
Then Jackie overhears the phonecall- Dan calling his mistress. I don't like it! Stupid.
Boo.
Wednesday, January 02, 2013
Roseanne: Season 9: Episode 6: Pampered to a Pulp
At the fancy spa getting an evaluation of all the trouble spots. Entertaining.
Tiny Asian ladies beating on them and not speaking English. I've totally had massages that seem like this.
Dessert is a swan made out of an apple! Pretty!
Yoga ! They are doing bound side angle pose! And directly into putting your foot behind head.
And they left yoga for past life therapy. Which is excellent.
And a dream sequence. Are we surprised? Roseanne is Xena warrior princess! And is fighting apparently a famous female boxer.
And again we have Roseanne and Jackie in weirdo clothes. Annnnnndd hey end. Phew.
Tiny Asian ladies beating on them and not speaking English. I've totally had massages that seem like this.
Dessert is a swan made out of an apple! Pretty!
Yoga ! They are doing bound side angle pose! And directly into putting your foot behind head.
And they left yoga for past life therapy. Which is excellent.
And a dream sequence. Are we surprised? Roseanne is Xena warrior princess! And is fighting apparently a famous female boxer.
And again we have Roseanne and Jackie in weirdo clothes. Annnnnndd hey end. Phew.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 5: Someday my Prince will Come
Jackie in a minidress.
At the diner. Carlos Champagne from Muldavia. Jackie thinks he's cute but decides she's full of shit. But realizes he's actually royal and is her normal dopey crazy self. Love it so much.
They all go with Jackie to NYC on her date. In a private plane.
Twin towers skyline!
And random ending dream sequence with Bev singing in the Cotton Club in NYC.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 4: Honor thy Mother
Leon and Dan discuss the meaning of life.
Roseanne and Jackie are going to the spa. Roseanne said she's going to get her kundalini awakened! Woo! There is a lot of Crazy fun times with Jackie and Roseanne this season.
DJ is now in Becky and Darlene's old room.
Poker night. David is such a weenie. I love it. Chuck has a heart to heart with Dan.
Roseanne and Jackie drink wheatgrass. Ew.
Dan is going to take his mom to Santa Monica to get good mental health care. Good for him.
Roseanne and Jackie are going to the spa. Roseanne said she's going to get her kundalini awakened! Woo! There is a lot of Crazy fun times with Jackie and Roseanne this season.
DJ is now in Becky and Darlene's old room.
Poker night. David is such a weenie. I love it. Chuck has a heart to heart with Dan.
Roseanne and Jackie drink wheatgrass. Ew.
Dan is going to take his mom to Santa Monica to get good mental health care. Good for him.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 3: What a Day for a Daydream
Roseanne hallucinating being on Jerry Springer
Telling the story of winning the lotto in a really unfunny way. I think it's supposed to be funny that its not funny but its not.
This is like the same thing as last episode when someone from the today show interviewed them and they were boring and awkward.
"Now that we have this money I don't have to be a democrat anymore."- Bev.
This is really long and not funny.
Another daydream now Roseanne and Jackie are posing for playboy in really ugly clothes. And now a guest appearance from hef. He looks so much younger than on the girls next door.
And now winning miss universe. This is still not funny.
And they decided the episode was over because they got a cake. So now Michael Fishman is reenacting old movies. Dumb.
Telling the story of winning the lotto in a really unfunny way. I think it's supposed to be funny that its not funny but its not.
This is like the same thing as last episode when someone from the today show interviewed them and they were boring and awkward.
"Now that we have this money I don't have to be a democrat anymore."- Bev.
This is really long and not funny.
Another daydream now Roseanne and Jackie are posing for playboy in really ugly clothes. And now a guest appearance from hef. He looks so much younger than on the girls next door.
And now winning miss universe. This is still not funny.
And they decided the episode was over because they got a cake. So now Michael Fishman is reenacting old movies. Dumb.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 2: Millions from Heaven
I love Jackie. Freaking out over the lottery and Roseanne is half dressed. Makes me so happy.
Going to the lotto office. Dealing with the press.
No wonder the prince is going to fall for Jackie. She's so funny.
They're so excited by brand names an the expensive plastic champagne glasses. Love it.
And Darlene is emotional and pregnant it's cute. I really love emotional Darlene. She's wonderful.
And David is really hot this season.
This is such a lolworthy episode.
Hehe. Robin Leach showing the house.
Going to the lotto office. Dealing with the press.
No wonder the prince is going to fall for Jackie. She's so funny.
They're so excited by brand names an the expensive plastic champagne glasses. Love it.
And Darlene is emotional and pregnant it's cute. I really love emotional Darlene. She's wonderful.
And David is really hot this season.
This is such a lolworthy episode.
Hehe. Robin Leach showing the house.
Roseanne: Season 9, Episode 1: Call Waiting
Dan and Roseanne still aren't back together. Roseanne is at Jackie's watching tv. Suddenly she and Dan are in I dream of Jeannie and Mary Tyler Moore It's kind of cute and relevant tho.
They made up. Yay!
And they won the lotto! 108 million. I love Jackie so much.
They made up. Yay!
And they won the lotto! 108 million. I love Jackie so much.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 25 Fights & Stuff
So I skipped blogging for a few. This was my new years resolution to get through each episode, and it's crunch time.
Dan is going home! Roseanne is throwing out everything unhealthy in the house. And it's a lot. Ewww old eggs in a jar. Why would you have eggs in a jar. Old condiments.
Healthy food they are eating- rice cakes, squash,
Revenge pb and j.
And now they are having a big fight about everything. Scary and intense.
Dan is going home! Roseanne is throwing out everything unhealthy in the house. And it's a lot. Ewww old eggs in a jar. Why would you have eggs in a jar. Old condiments.
Healthy food they are eating- rice cakes, squash,
Revenge pb and j.
And now they are having a big fight about everything. Scary and intense.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 19: Springtime for David
Old Becky again. Not looking forward to this ep.
David starts work at an amusement park. And lives in a scary bunker dorm with someone far too chipper. This really reminds me of the Mormons from Book of Mormon.
And now David is brainwashed after 2 weeks.
Culty cray cray.
Roseanne makes him come home.
David starts work at an amusement park. And lives in a scary bunker dorm with someone far too chipper. This really reminds me of the Mormons from Book of Mormon.
And now David is brainwashed after 2 weeks.
Culty cray cray.
Roseanne makes him come home.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 18: Disney World War II
Good grief that's a lot of people to have on vacation. expensive too.
Darlene finds the Disney spirit.
And makes a baby! But we don't know that yet.
Darlene finds the Disney spirit.
And makes a baby! But we don't know that yet.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 17: We're Going to Disney World
Dan gets paid out at work and they have enough for a vacation. Woo!
Becky number 2 is back! She doesn't even have the same hair.
Becky number 2 is back! She doesn't even have the same hair.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 16: Construction Junction
Jackie is worried about Andy's verbal skills. But it's because he has a talking toy with a really robotic voice.
Jackie bought a computer for Andy to learn. And set her up with AOL!
A new prison is coming and needs drywall! Dan to the rescue. Screw the city job.
Jackie is an Internet addict.
Dan got the drywall job because one of the co-owners, Chuck, is black.
Tiny Tim playing uke with David
Jackie bought a computer for Andy to learn. And set her up with AOL!
A new prison is coming and needs drywall! Dan to the rescue. Screw the city job.
Jackie is an Internet addict.
Dan got the drywall job because one of the co-owners, Chuck, is black.
Tiny Tim playing uke with David
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 15: Out of the Past
Darlene tries to play buckety in scrabble.
Nana Mary!
Poker game with Scott and Leon.
Talking about OJ Simpson in mixed company.
That's a giant crib at Jackie's. I could sleep in that comfortably.
Nana Mary!
Poker game with Scott and Leon.
Talking about OJ Simpson in mixed company.
That's a giant crib at Jackie's. I could sleep in that comfortably.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 14: Becky Howser, M.D.
Mark is attempting to grow a goatee.
Becky is in a rut. And jealous of Darlene.
Becky is down about being 21 living in a trailer park without a career. Roseanne tries to encourage her to make a change in her life.
And Mark is grouchy that Becky isn't happy with where they are together. And thinks that if she's a fancy doctor she won't want him anymore.
Becky seems to always have doubts about Mark. And Roseanne always has to defend Mark's side.
Yay decent episode in season 8.
3 episodes in row with Mr. Parkin. Good times.
Becky is in a rut. And jealous of Darlene.
Becky is down about being 21 living in a trailer park without a career. Roseanne tries to encourage her to make a change in her life.
And Mark is grouchy that Becky isn't happy with where they are together. And thinks that if she's a fancy doctor she won't want him anymore.
Becky seems to always have doubts about Mark. And Roseanne always has to defend Mark's side.
Yay decent episode in season 8.
3 episodes in row with Mr. Parkin. Good times.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 13: White SHeep of the Family
Random relative death means they have enough to go out to a fancy dinner. At McArthurs. They had $21.46 and then Darlene came home so it's $18.75 a person.
The Conners are all impressed at the fancy menu and place. For $21.46 a person in San Mateo... Well that would be... A decent place
Darlene was offered a copywrigher job for 500 a week - $25,000 a year. And everyone is impressed but annoyed at her for being snobby and obnoxious- ie darlenelike.
DJ bought a trombone but apparently without a case.
"I'm not getting it."- Dan
"Neither do a lot of trombone players."- Darlene
Now the family thinks Darlene is looking down on them because she's in college and can make the big bucks. But she's just Darlene.
The Conners are all impressed at the fancy menu and place. For $21.46 a person in San Mateo... Well that would be... A decent place
Darlene was offered a copywrigher job for 500 a week - $25,000 a year. And everyone is impressed but annoyed at her for being snobby and obnoxious- ie darlenelike.
DJ bought a trombone but apparently without a case.
"I'm not getting it."- Dan
"Neither do a lot of trombone players."- Darlene
Now the family thinks Darlene is looking down on them because she's in college and can make the big bucks. But she's just Darlene.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 12: The Thrilla near the Vanilla Extract
Jackie and Roseanne are selling soya sausages and cheese in a can at the supermarket. For 4.25 an hour plus .15 a unit
Why are they doing this? They own a diner. Shouldn't they be working at the diner if they want extra money?
Mr. Parkin the grouchy manager. Har had.
The men are installing new linoleum.
Kathryn Joosten from desperate housewives!
Ohhhh. Dan just told off David for putting down Mark. Because Mark has a full time job and busts his ass to take care of his wife. And David works part time at a pizza parlor and sits around making ironic comments.
And Roseanne and Jackie are having a food fight while working in the grocery store.
Dan is a little Emo this episode. But he does have a point.
Dan thinks David should move out. He is graduated from high school.
New linoleum dancing with Scott Hamilton. And Mark.
Why are they doing this? They own a diner. Shouldn't they be working at the diner if they want extra money?
Mr. Parkin the grouchy manager. Har had.
The men are installing new linoleum.
Kathryn Joosten from desperate housewives!
Ohhhh. Dan just told off David for putting down Mark. Because Mark has a full time job and busts his ass to take care of his wife. And David works part time at a pizza parlor and sits around making ironic comments.
And Roseanne and Jackie are having a food fight while working in the grocery store.
Dan is a little Emo this episode. But he does have a point.
Dan thinks David should move out. He is graduated from high school.
New linoleum dancing with Scott Hamilton. And Mark.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 11: December Bride
Roseanne throws Leon a big gay fabulous wedding.
Leon gets cold feet.
And then they get married. And the officiant is obnoxious and dumb. And Roseanne went from not knowing Scott, Leon's bf to planning the wedding and inviting the whole fam. Yeah sure.
Leon gets cold feet.
And then they get married. And the officiant is obnoxious and dumb. And Roseanne went from not knowing Scott, Leon's bf to planning the wedding and inviting the whole fam. Yeah sure.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 10: Direct to Video
Roseanne is recording a time capsule for get baby. And is pregnant again. Have we gone back in time? Apparently so.
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 9: Of Mice and Dan
DJ is breeding mice to sell to the research lab. Not how it works.
Dan's band is back in town. The one he had to leave to be with Roseanne. Or something.
Apparently Dan used to be a Blues Brother
Good music. And actually an entertaining episode. All hope is not lost for season 8!
Dan's band is back in town. The one he had to leave to be with Roseanne. Or something.
Apparently Dan used to be a Blues Brother
Good music. And actually an entertaining episode. All hope is not lost for season 8!
Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 8: The Last Thursday in November
Last Thursday in November.
Turkey for turkey day!
Roseanne and Jackie bitching about the gendered roles for Thanksgiving. Maybe true, but not funny. Or integrated into the plot.
DJ has a thanksgiving pageant for school. They show the pilgrims slaughtering the Indians with guns a la Pulp Fiction. Apparently his history teacher is a Native American.
The parents find it tres controversial.
And now a dramatic retelling of the first Thanksgiving. As acted by the cast. Also including historical gender discrimination. And the wise Indians tell Roseanne the way things really are.
Ok done with silly dream sequence. All the Indians come over to the Conners for Thanksgiving to have dinner and everyone does the friendship dance. Wtf is this?
Turkey for turkey day!
Roseanne and Jackie bitching about the gendered roles for Thanksgiving. Maybe true, but not funny. Or integrated into the plot.
DJ has a thanksgiving pageant for school. They show the pilgrims slaughtering the Indians with guns a la Pulp Fiction. Apparently his history teacher is a Native American.
The parents find it tres controversial.
And now a dramatic retelling of the first Thanksgiving. As acted by the cast. Also including historical gender discrimination. And the wise Indians tell Roseanne the way things really are.
Ok done with silly dream sequence. All the Indians come over to the Conners for Thanksgiving to have dinner and everyone does the friendship dance. Wtf is this?
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