http://memorialwebsites.legacy.com/ronhaegele/Homepage.aspx
Dad's memorial website.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Random notes for the day:
- Banjo is amazing.
- Africa is so cool.
- Throw Down Your Heart with Bela Fleck taking the banjo to Africa to play with musicians was an amazing documentary
- I want to adopt all of the cute kids in the film
- Yoga is fantastic
- My current yoga teacher at Stanford is going to teach a yoga class the morning of my wedding...possibly in my living room. Who wants to come?
- Jim's sister is having a baby
- Jim doesn't want to know what sex the baby is
- I know the sex, and the name, and am trying really hard not to tell
- It's St. Patty's Day
- Here are the following things I have that are green that I'm wearing today:
- Shoes
- Dress
- Sweater
- Panties
- Bra
- Anklet
- Neclace
- About 8 bracelets
- Purse
- I'm also writing with a green pen
- I think now is the perfect time for me to fail out of college
- I can't believe there is only 1 more episode of Battlestar Galactica left
- I have shit going on in my life that sucks balls
- Quilting is my new hobby, and it doesn't suck balls
- Toaster is the best cat. Except when I can't sleep and am really fidgety and she just wants to cuddle.
- But I can't really blame her for that.
- Toaster has a green collar. She's festive today too.
- I need to make a Mix CD when I get home tonight.
- My mom is on facebook, it makes me laugh
- People from work are on YahooChat, it confuses me
- I have the best fiance ever
- I don't know how his nickname became Binkie, or BinkBink, but I like it
- I used up an entire tube of chapstick. I need a new one
- There are probably about 10 different cheeses or cheese products in my fridge
- Happy St. Patty's Day.
Monday, December 08, 2008
It's a wedding extravaganza!! People are just getting engaged right and left! Of course it's because Jim and I are such trendsetters!
OK OK, sorry, you know once the ball is rolling, it just keeps going sometimes.
And is it really a bad thing to be in such fiancee-happy bliss that you want other people to have that too??
I heart weddings!
I guess that means it's time to start planning mine... calling the caterer today!
- Matt & Tina (Matt is Jim's friend from High School & College)
- Arthur & Em (Arthur is my friend from High School & College, Em is a friend from College)
- Emerie & Fiance (Erin's sister, who I've met maybe twice :) )
- Heather & Fiance (Heather is my friend from High School)
- Numerous people that I see on Facebook from High School & College
OK OK, sorry, you know once the ball is rolling, it just keeps going sometimes.
And is it really a bad thing to be in such fiancee-happy bliss that you want other people to have that too??
I heart weddings!
I guess that means it's time to start planning mine... calling the caterer today!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
So I get really motion sick. People don't really believe me when I tell them that I get really bad motion sickness.
- Even sitting in the front seat with Jim driving, who's a pretty smooth driver, I sometimes have to ask him to "drive good please."
- When other people are driving, it's kind of a crapshoot. Generally stick shift drivers don't drive very smoothly, short trips are OK, especially when I have shotgun.
- And yes, I often get carsick while driving. Yes, me driving. Either in heavy traffic or on curvy roads. Doesn't help that there's usually a good bit of traffic on the way to/from work.
- Walking on the beach... I love the beach, and I love walking, but I usually go down to the water's edge where the sand is packed tight. Walking over the loose sand for 20 minutes + will probably make me sick.
- And the newest one to add to the list, obviously I can't read while in a moving car, I can't even effecitively text message. Apparently I can't read while walking. Not like, trying to read a book, that's just silly. No, when I'm at my desk and I pick up a file to put back in the filing system (about 10 feet from me), I CANNOT look at the file folder label while walking over. So I either have to look at the title, figure out where the file goes, and then walk over there, or walk over there, then stop and read the title and figure out where the file goes. Isn't that sad?
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Hooray for free trials of statistical software. I'm on my last homework assignment for this class. As of Wednesday, I'll be done with Business Statistics & Operations Research.
And if I can get my act together, I'll be done with Information Systems by Thanksgiving.
Then I'll have a couple weeks to chill, and not do homework every weekend. Amazing!
And if I can get my act together, I'll be done with Information Systems by Thanksgiving.
Then I'll have a couple weeks to chill, and not do homework every weekend. Amazing!
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
In other music related news, I have the best Christmas CD EVAR. Ok, so I know that seems like I'm not saying much, it's still a Christmas CD, even the best of crap is still crap. But no! It's super good! I just sit and listen and am dumfounded by the awesomeness that is Bela Fleck and the Flecktones Jingle all the Way.
Oh, and I'm seeing them in a week and a half.
Usually I'm very adament that Christmas festivities do not start until either the day after my birthday, or the day after Thanksgiving - whichever one is later. This year, I must admit, I really want an excuse to decorate the house and frolic to this CD.
I'm actually thinking of having a Holiday party just for an excuse to play the CD and force other people to listen to it.
Oh, and I'm seeing them in a week and a half.
Usually I'm very adament that Christmas festivities do not start until either the day after my birthday, or the day after Thanksgiving - whichever one is later. This year, I must admit, I really want an excuse to decorate the house and frolic to this CD.
I'm actually thinking of having a Holiday party just for an excuse to play the CD and force other people to listen to it.
Saturday, November 08, 2008
Taken from Jim's fab idea, I've made a playlist of A-Z songs. It was HARD. Here is my playlist:
All Night Radio - Sam Bush
Body and Soul - Sam Bush & John Cowan
Callin' Baton Rouge - New Grass Revival
Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground - Chris Thile
Extraordinary - Liz Phair
Forget About It - Alison Krauss
Get Off This - Cracker/Leftover Salmon
Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
It's All Been Done - Barenaked Ladies
James K. Polk - They Might Be Giants
Kate - Ben Folds Five
Low - Cracker/Leftover Salmon
Mamma Mia - ABBA (or Meryl Streep from the movie)
New Shoes - Paolo Nutini
Oh Darlin - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Pink - Aerosmith
Queen of the Air - Everclear
Rewind - Paolo Nutini
Steam Powered Aeroplane - John Hartford
Two Shoes - Cat Empire
Unplug That Telephone - Leftover Salmon
Vix 9 - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show
X Concerto for Clarinet - McAllister
You Spin Me Right Round - Dead or Alive
Zebra - John Butler Trio
All Night Radio - Sam Bush
Body and Soul - Sam Bush & John Cowan
Callin' Baton Rouge - New Grass Revival
Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground - Chris Thile
Extraordinary - Liz Phair
Forget About It - Alison Krauss
Get Off This - Cracker/Leftover Salmon
Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
It's All Been Done - Barenaked Ladies
James K. Polk - They Might Be Giants
Kate - Ben Folds Five
Low - Cracker/Leftover Salmon
Mamma Mia - ABBA (or Meryl Streep from the movie)
New Shoes - Paolo Nutini
Oh Darlin - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Pink - Aerosmith
Queen of the Air - Everclear
Rewind - Paolo Nutini
Steam Powered Aeroplane - John Hartford
Two Shoes - Cat Empire
Unplug That Telephone - Leftover Salmon
Vix 9 - Bela Fleck and the Flecktones
Wagon Wheel - Old Crow Medicine Show
X Concerto for Clarinet - McAllister
You Spin Me Right Round - Dead or Alive
Zebra - John Butler Trio
Saturday, November 01, 2008
Kayte went to Grandma's house.
OK, long overdue. What can I say, I needed to decompress, and attempt to forget the parts of this trip that made me shutter, and vomit a little in my mouth. But now sufficient time has passed, and I'm procrastinating doing other homework, so it seemed like a good time to update things.
First I'll tell you a little about my Grandma Julia. She's 95 years old, so she's lived through a hell of a lot. That means that she actually has really cool stories about working in an airplane factory and being a 'Rosie the Riveter' type during WWII, working in a speakeasy, all sorts of shenanegans about living on the farm, and only having received a few years of school, going for her GED while my mom was in high school. The problem here, is suffering through everything else she has to say, to get to these stories. Grandma has an amazing memory for how much things cost, how much she's bought and sold things for, and who married and divorced who.
Grandma lives in Senior Living apartments in Effingham, Illiois, which is the next town over from Altamont, Illinois, where she grew up and lived, and where my mom grew up and lived. Now lets get the first thing straight, Effingham and Altamont are not cute little country town, they are tiny little pieces of hell transported to Southern Illinois. I used to dread visiting Grandma because I'd have to see . . . Grandma, but I've realized that Grandma Julia is very much a product of her environment. These are old farm town, which over time have seen factories come in, and more recently, seen factories go. There's very little industry here. A good job is the day-shift at Walmart. Few people go to college, but for some reason, most who leave to get an education come back to Altamont. The women become school teachers. Dentists and Lawyers and Undertakers come back and take over the family businesses. There are lots of fast food places, lots of shiny looking chain stores in the middle of miserable strip malls. And cemetaries. Dear lord there are a lot of cemetaries here...

Here now, are some highlights:
One day we put Grandma in the car, and drove around town. We went to one cemetary to put new flowers on Grandpa's grave, then we went to another cemetary to put flowers on Grandma's parents graves. Their names were August and Augusta. :)
As we continued around town we saw the 1 room school house mom attended 1st grade in, saw the property that used to be in our family, the property that still is in our family, drove through all the cornfields, and kept passing cemetaries. Cemetaries are like the Starbucks of California, they're everywhere. Whenever we'd pass one, Grandma would start telling us about who was buried there, and how they died (because that's what you do when talking about dead people). Whenever we passed one, I started to ask "Grandma, who's buried there?" And she always had an answer.
We cooked for Grandma when we were there. We didn't go out to eat much because it was so expensive. We went out to Ryan's buffet on Monday. We couldn't go on Saturday or Sunday, because they charged more, and it was the same food! I think Grandma told me this at least 3 times a day every day. Ryan's was all of $25 for the 3 of us to go the buffet. And it was actually a good buffet, big salad bar, lots of meats, fried chicken, ribs, roast beef, burgers, pork, fish, desserts, veggies, rolls. While at Ryan's grandma had finished her dinner, and still had about 4 square inches of fish left. "Well, they don't let you put it back!" My mother and I did our best to ignore Grandma as she wrapped up the fish in a napkin, and put it in her purse. Now, I have no problems taking the uneaten roll, but fish??
When we cooked, we made such country delicacies as peas and potatoes in cream sauce. First, you take frozen peas, and potatoes (grandma uses canned potatoes, but we stepped it up and used fresh taters), and boil them. Then you heat up heavy cream, and mix in some cornstarch to thicken it. That's it! Then you put a tiny amount of the veggies into the glop of the cream sauce. I was so disgusted that I wrinsed my veggies off in the sink, because I could only handle 1 bite of the flavorless slop. Grandma thought it was heavenly. Grandma also insists on peeling tomatoes before eating them, which I find strange.
Grandma has plenty of silverwear, plates and glasses, but generally tends to use reused styrofoam cups, rewashed plastic forks, empty margarine tubs, and cool whip lids as plates. Mom and I broke into the 'good stuff.'
Throughout the trip Grandma kept trying to give me stuff. Being a packrat, and knowing the 'value' of things, she has a ton of stuff. She won't donate any of it, but she might sell it...if she could get a good price. But she tried to give me stuff. It was confusing, because one minute she'd be offering me glass salt and pepper dips (what they used before there were shakers), that her grandparents had brought over on the ship from Germany. The ship sank when it was a few miles from shore, and these were one of the few things my family had been able to save from going down. The next minute she'll be trying to offer me ugly sweaters from the free table. The free table is at her apartment, when someone dies, anything the kids, or whoever empties the apartment doesn't want, they leave for the other residents to hoard. No grandma, I don't want dead people's ugly clothes. For every 15 things she tried to give me, I really had to pick one or two to take to make her happy. I took a jewelry box that I think she bought at a garage sale, and a bunch of balls of scrap fabric, sown together into thin strips to make rugs. If you've been to my house, you know that I have a habbit of cutting up old clothes and making rugs, well apparently my great great grandmother did too. So I have some really cool old fabric. I tried on some of the ugly clothes, just for shits and giggles, and I think I made my mom pee her pants a few times. Old people love pants they can tuck their saggy boobs into the elastic waistband. No pictures of those outfits to share, you'd be too jealous of my sexyness.
Unfortunately, the fabric balls didn't fit in my suitcase, so we went to the only thrift store in town to buy a cheap suitcase. I'm pretty sure it was a Pro-Life store. But I donated to Planned Parenthood (in Sarah Palin's name!) so it balances out.
Grandma did sell some stuff, there was an antique/vintage store in town that took things on consignment. One of the things in there is a 1985 Cabbage Patch Doll. Originally bought for me as a gift, Grandma saw how I treated my other dolls, and decided that I wouldn't take care of it, so she didn't give it to me. (I was 2 at the time). So my mom bought me a Cabbage Patch Doll who I loved and was happy with. Mom says that Grandma never offered me the other doll. Grandma says that she offered it to me when I was 'older' but that I didn't want it. If she did, she probably waited til I was like 15, cause what kid would refuse another doll? Anyway, the doll, still in the box! is being sold for $75.
Being the month before an election, I thought we'd see more political signs out and about. There were lots of local school board or whatever, but very few Obama or McCain signs. One of the McCain signs said "Pro-life for McCain" boo. I wore my Obama button every day I was there. Grandma asked me the first day, what my button said, so I told her. I asked her what she thought of Obama. She told me that there were a lot of people that didn't think there could really be educated black men, but she guessed there were more and more these days. I asked her who she was voting for, and she didn't know. I told her that I was voting for Obama because he is a good man, and that I think he'll be good for our country. Grandma is voting this week, but I'm not sure who she'll end up choosing...
Grandma liked to talk about fat people. In restaurants, she'd point and smile, and say F-A-T (she'd spell it out) or she'd whisper it. And at home, of course if someone was fat, that was an integral part of any story. Mother especially didn't appreciate this, as grandma kept making underhanded remarks about Mom's weight.
On the last day we were there Mom was wearing a cute shirt with a V-neck, and a wide band underneath that tied in the back, and had a bit of an empire waist. Grandma kept pointing at Mom's boobs all morning and smiling at me, like we had some sort of an inside joke. Finally I said, "Doesn't mom look pretty, today?" To which she said "Well, she's got a titty tightener."
At one point, I think Grandma had run out of things to say, so she grabbed the phone book and started showing us pictures. Like the lawyers all had pictures, and she started telling us how this ones the father of that one, and his wife is so mean. Very strange.
One new story I got out of Grandma this trip: She was wearing a pretty silver ring one day, and I told her it was pretty. She said that her boyfriend had gotten it for her before he got shipped out in WWII. It was a 'friendship ring.' He didn't want to get her a diamond ring, because if he'd come back and didn't have an arm, or was crippled, he didn't want her to marry him out of pity. Unfortunately it was about 2 weeks after he was shipped out that he was killed in action. Sad!
Grandma then had to wait til the war was over and the men to come home before she could find a man, which meant Grandma didn't get married til she was in her 40s, and didn't have my mom until almost her mid-40s. Kind of strange for that time.
Grandma liked to complain about how there weren't very many men in her building, and the men that were there were almost all married, or were too young for her. She said she wanted a boyfriend so she had someone to ... talk to. She put this big dramatic space in when she said it, and I was so afraid she was going to tell me that she wanted to have old people sex.
One day the Lutheran minister came by. Mom was raised Lutheran, but is no longer a church going person, and me - never a church going person got to sit and get our own little private service with Grandma! We got to hear about being sheep, and having a shepard, and we prayed for the crops, and it was very exciting. Mom said that one of the reasons she left organized religion was because growing up the church folks were always the most gossipy judgemental people, and they held their religious morals over other people, and didn't use the religion to be good people and do good things.
While we were there Grandma got a call from one of Mom's high school friends, my mom's best friend in high school, Lucy, had passed away from cancer. Mom went to the memorial service, and left me with Grandma. Grandma kept asking how she looked, and couldn't understand that Lucy wasn't at her own memorial service, because she was being cremated. That was still kind of a no-no in the area. The area really has a culture of death, Mom said that most all of what people talked about at the memorial was how Lucy had died, how the cancer treatments were painful, how she was sick... Mom said little was said about how Lucy lived, which seems so strange because every memorial I've ever been to it's been almost taboo to talk about the person's death, you just remember how they lived. There was also lots of talk about one of Lucy's daughters, who was married to some asshole, who made her strip in St. Louis so he didn't have to work, and it was commonly known and gossiped about that he had to make sure not to beat her up too badly, or she wouldn't get good tips. Of course, everyone knew about this, but no one did anything about it. One of Lucy's sons was also rumored to be gay. This however, was much more hush hush. It's much more acceptable to be in an abusive marriage, than to be a closeted gay man in Effingham Illinois.
We also paid a visit to Reetha, another friend of my mom's back from high school, who we found out actually lived in the same building as Grandma! Yes...in the senior apartments. So happy to talk to someone sane, Mom and I went over and sat down on her couch. How are you, Reetha? Well... we got to sit for half an hour and listen to how she had become so close to her mother before her mother had passed away, and how she was the one who found her mother's body, and how hard it was now that her mother was gone. We also heard a little about how she used to be an alcoholic, and ended up being a crappy mom, but how that's getting better. We also learned that Reetha was in the Senior living apartments because she was on disability for 'mental reasons.' But mostly she just talked about her mom's death. And she cried. And after 30 minutes we excused ourselves and got the fuck out of there. Yes, everyone in Effingham is crazy. It's a culture of death, mixed with the desire to talk shit about people.
For some reason, no one really leaves the area, and those that do, always come back. People look at my mom like she's crazy for ever leaving, and ask her now that she's retired, if she'll be coming back. They don't understand. Mom said she felt like she always knew, that there was something more out there, better than this, so she went to college, and got out. I'm so thankful she did.
And now I leave you with a picture from the Giant Cross. The Giant Cross was erected by the president of the DAV (Disabled American Veterans), because he was the only one willing to climb up on the scaffolding to finish the welding at the very top. Does that seem strange to anyone else?? All I can say is thank God I'm back home.

Also, I love my Mommy.
OK, long overdue. What can I say, I needed to decompress, and attempt to forget the parts of this trip that made me shutter, and vomit a little in my mouth. But now sufficient time has passed, and I'm procrastinating doing other homework, so it seemed like a good time to update things.
First I'll tell you a little about my Grandma Julia. She's 95 years old, so she's lived through a hell of a lot. That means that she actually has really cool stories about working in an airplane factory and being a 'Rosie the Riveter' type during WWII, working in a speakeasy, all sorts of shenanegans about living on the farm, and only having received a few years of school, going for her GED while my mom was in high school. The problem here, is suffering through everything else she has to say, to get to these stories. Grandma has an amazing memory for how much things cost, how much she's bought and sold things for, and who married and divorced who.
Grandma lives in Senior Living apartments in Effingham, Illiois, which is the next town over from Altamont, Illinois, where she grew up and lived, and where my mom grew up and lived. Now lets get the first thing straight, Effingham and Altamont are not cute little country town, they are tiny little pieces of hell transported to Southern Illinois. I used to dread visiting Grandma because I'd have to see . . . Grandma, but I've realized that Grandma Julia is very much a product of her environment. These are old farm town, which over time have seen factories come in, and more recently, seen factories go. There's very little industry here. A good job is the day-shift at Walmart. Few people go to college, but for some reason, most who leave to get an education come back to Altamont. The women become school teachers. Dentists and Lawyers and Undertakers come back and take over the family businesses. There are lots of fast food places, lots of shiny looking chain stores in the middle of miserable strip malls. And cemetaries. Dear lord there are a lot of cemetaries here...
Here now, are some highlights:
One day we put Grandma in the car, and drove around town. We went to one cemetary to put new flowers on Grandpa's grave, then we went to another cemetary to put flowers on Grandma's parents graves. Their names were August and Augusta. :)
As we continued around town we saw the 1 room school house mom attended 1st grade in, saw the property that used to be in our family, the property that still is in our family, drove through all the cornfields, and kept passing cemetaries. Cemetaries are like the Starbucks of California, they're everywhere. Whenever we'd pass one, Grandma would start telling us about who was buried there, and how they died (because that's what you do when talking about dead people). Whenever we passed one, I started to ask "Grandma, who's buried there?" And she always had an answer.
We cooked for Grandma when we were there. We didn't go out to eat much because it was so expensive. We went out to Ryan's buffet on Monday. We couldn't go on Saturday or Sunday, because they charged more, and it was the same food! I think Grandma told me this at least 3 times a day every day. Ryan's was all of $25 for the 3 of us to go the buffet. And it was actually a good buffet, big salad bar, lots of meats, fried chicken, ribs, roast beef, burgers, pork, fish, desserts, veggies, rolls. While at Ryan's grandma had finished her dinner, and still had about 4 square inches of fish left. "Well, they don't let you put it back!" My mother and I did our best to ignore Grandma as she wrapped up the fish in a napkin, and put it in her purse. Now, I have no problems taking the uneaten roll, but fish??
When we cooked, we made such country delicacies as peas and potatoes in cream sauce. First, you take frozen peas, and potatoes (grandma uses canned potatoes, but we stepped it up and used fresh taters), and boil them. Then you heat up heavy cream, and mix in some cornstarch to thicken it. That's it! Then you put a tiny amount of the veggies into the glop of the cream sauce. I was so disgusted that I wrinsed my veggies off in the sink, because I could only handle 1 bite of the flavorless slop. Grandma thought it was heavenly. Grandma also insists on peeling tomatoes before eating them, which I find strange.
Grandma has plenty of silverwear, plates and glasses, but generally tends to use reused styrofoam cups, rewashed plastic forks, empty margarine tubs, and cool whip lids as plates. Mom and I broke into the 'good stuff.'
Throughout the trip Grandma kept trying to give me stuff. Being a packrat, and knowing the 'value' of things, she has a ton of stuff. She won't donate any of it, but she might sell it...if she could get a good price. But she tried to give me stuff. It was confusing, because one minute she'd be offering me glass salt and pepper dips (what they used before there were shakers), that her grandparents had brought over on the ship from Germany. The ship sank when it was a few miles from shore, and these were one of the few things my family had been able to save from going down. The next minute she'll be trying to offer me ugly sweaters from the free table. The free table is at her apartment, when someone dies, anything the kids, or whoever empties the apartment doesn't want, they leave for the other residents to hoard. No grandma, I don't want dead people's ugly clothes. For every 15 things she tried to give me, I really had to pick one or two to take to make her happy. I took a jewelry box that I think she bought at a garage sale, and a bunch of balls of scrap fabric, sown together into thin strips to make rugs. If you've been to my house, you know that I have a habbit of cutting up old clothes and making rugs, well apparently my great great grandmother did too. So I have some really cool old fabric. I tried on some of the ugly clothes, just for shits and giggles, and I think I made my mom pee her pants a few times. Old people love pants they can tuck their saggy boobs into the elastic waistband. No pictures of those outfits to share, you'd be too jealous of my sexyness.
Unfortunately, the fabric balls didn't fit in my suitcase, so we went to the only thrift store in town to buy a cheap suitcase. I'm pretty sure it was a Pro-Life store. But I donated to Planned Parenthood (in Sarah Palin's name!) so it balances out.
Grandma did sell some stuff, there was an antique/vintage store in town that took things on consignment. One of the things in there is a 1985 Cabbage Patch Doll. Originally bought for me as a gift, Grandma saw how I treated my other dolls, and decided that I wouldn't take care of it, so she didn't give it to me. (I was 2 at the time). So my mom bought me a Cabbage Patch Doll who I loved and was happy with. Mom says that Grandma never offered me the other doll. Grandma says that she offered it to me when I was 'older' but that I didn't want it. If she did, she probably waited til I was like 15, cause what kid would refuse another doll? Anyway, the doll, still in the box! is being sold for $75.
Being the month before an election, I thought we'd see more political signs out and about. There were lots of local school board or whatever, but very few Obama or McCain signs. One of the McCain signs said "Pro-life for McCain" boo. I wore my Obama button every day I was there. Grandma asked me the first day, what my button said, so I told her. I asked her what she thought of Obama. She told me that there were a lot of people that didn't think there could really be educated black men, but she guessed there were more and more these days. I asked her who she was voting for, and she didn't know. I told her that I was voting for Obama because he is a good man, and that I think he'll be good for our country. Grandma is voting this week, but I'm not sure who she'll end up choosing...
Grandma liked to talk about fat people. In restaurants, she'd point and smile, and say F-A-T (she'd spell it out) or she'd whisper it. And at home, of course if someone was fat, that was an integral part of any story. Mother especially didn't appreciate this, as grandma kept making underhanded remarks about Mom's weight.
On the last day we were there Mom was wearing a cute shirt with a V-neck, and a wide band underneath that tied in the back, and had a bit of an empire waist. Grandma kept pointing at Mom's boobs all morning and smiling at me, like we had some sort of an inside joke. Finally I said, "Doesn't mom look pretty, today?" To which she said "Well, she's got a titty tightener."
At one point, I think Grandma had run out of things to say, so she grabbed the phone book and started showing us pictures. Like the lawyers all had pictures, and she started telling us how this ones the father of that one, and his wife is so mean. Very strange.
One new story I got out of Grandma this trip: She was wearing a pretty silver ring one day, and I told her it was pretty. She said that her boyfriend had gotten it for her before he got shipped out in WWII. It was a 'friendship ring.' He didn't want to get her a diamond ring, because if he'd come back and didn't have an arm, or was crippled, he didn't want her to marry him out of pity. Unfortunately it was about 2 weeks after he was shipped out that he was killed in action. Sad!
Grandma then had to wait til the war was over and the men to come home before she could find a man, which meant Grandma didn't get married til she was in her 40s, and didn't have my mom until almost her mid-40s. Kind of strange for that time.
Grandma liked to complain about how there weren't very many men in her building, and the men that were there were almost all married, or were too young for her. She said she wanted a boyfriend so she had someone to ... talk to. She put this big dramatic space in when she said it, and I was so afraid she was going to tell me that she wanted to have old people sex.
One day the Lutheran minister came by. Mom was raised Lutheran, but is no longer a church going person, and me - never a church going person got to sit and get our own little private service with Grandma! We got to hear about being sheep, and having a shepard, and we prayed for the crops, and it was very exciting. Mom said that one of the reasons she left organized religion was because growing up the church folks were always the most gossipy judgemental people, and they held their religious morals over other people, and didn't use the religion to be good people and do good things.
While we were there Grandma got a call from one of Mom's high school friends, my mom's best friend in high school, Lucy, had passed away from cancer. Mom went to the memorial service, and left me with Grandma. Grandma kept asking how she looked, and couldn't understand that Lucy wasn't at her own memorial service, because she was being cremated. That was still kind of a no-no in the area. The area really has a culture of death, Mom said that most all of what people talked about at the memorial was how Lucy had died, how the cancer treatments were painful, how she was sick... Mom said little was said about how Lucy lived, which seems so strange because every memorial I've ever been to it's been almost taboo to talk about the person's death, you just remember how they lived. There was also lots of talk about one of Lucy's daughters, who was married to some asshole, who made her strip in St. Louis so he didn't have to work, and it was commonly known and gossiped about that he had to make sure not to beat her up too badly, or she wouldn't get good tips. Of course, everyone knew about this, but no one did anything about it. One of Lucy's sons was also rumored to be gay. This however, was much more hush hush. It's much more acceptable to be in an abusive marriage, than to be a closeted gay man in Effingham Illinois.
We also paid a visit to Reetha, another friend of my mom's back from high school, who we found out actually lived in the same building as Grandma! Yes...in the senior apartments. So happy to talk to someone sane, Mom and I went over and sat down on her couch. How are you, Reetha? Well... we got to sit for half an hour and listen to how she had become so close to her mother before her mother had passed away, and how she was the one who found her mother's body, and how hard it was now that her mother was gone. We also heard a little about how she used to be an alcoholic, and ended up being a crappy mom, but how that's getting better. We also learned that Reetha was in the Senior living apartments because she was on disability for 'mental reasons.' But mostly she just talked about her mom's death. And she cried. And after 30 minutes we excused ourselves and got the fuck out of there. Yes, everyone in Effingham is crazy. It's a culture of death, mixed with the desire to talk shit about people.
For some reason, no one really leaves the area, and those that do, always come back. People look at my mom like she's crazy for ever leaving, and ask her now that she's retired, if she'll be coming back. They don't understand. Mom said she felt like she always knew, that there was something more out there, better than this, so she went to college, and got out. I'm so thankful she did.
And now I leave you with a picture from the Giant Cross. The Giant Cross was erected by the president of the DAV (Disabled American Veterans), because he was the only one willing to climb up on the scaffolding to finish the welding at the very top. Does that seem strange to anyone else?? All I can say is thank God I'm back home.
Also, I love my Mommy.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
I just got a phone call from Stanford's emergency alert system on my cell phone and my office phone. It told me that there was a power outage on campus, and they didn't know when power would be restored. How is this an emergency? It's not Stanford Hospital. And any one on Stanford campus should be pretty darn aware there isn't power. I'm offsite, so our office has power.
Trying to think of who this would affect, and who would actually positively benefit from this seemingly bizarre utilization of resources... all I can think of is that if you are a researcher and you have experiments stored in a refrigerator, or are running something on a computer, but are actually offsite at the time, you'll want to know there's an outage so you can deal with it later. But then you'll probably want to know when the power comes back on. Or how long it's going to be....
Trying to think of who this would affect, and who would actually positively benefit from this seemingly bizarre utilization of resources... all I can think of is that if you are a researcher and you have experiments stored in a refrigerator, or are running something on a computer, but are actually offsite at the time, you'll want to know there's an outage so you can deal with it later. But then you'll probably want to know when the power comes back on. Or how long it's going to be....
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
I need to buy a pot to replant my tree. This is my goal for the weekend. It's only Wednesday, damn.
Push-ups failed due to laziness and Jim being out of town. We started over on week 1 last night, we'll see how it goes.
Toying with ideas for wedding websites. Was thinking about using my stanford webspace: www.stanford.edu/~kayte
But I'd like to not have it just be KAYTE, since Jim is approximately 1/2 of this wedding. This also requires learning html again. A good skill to have, but I don't know if I have the time or patience right now. Also thought about weddings.com website: kayteandjim.weddings.com
A desirable enough site name to give to relatives and other invites, but the cookie cutter website style leaves something to be desired. But it does adequately convey the information.
Am now thinking about creating a blogger site, and using it as a website, not as a blog, like this: http://thewilderclarkwedding.blogspot.com/
But for now, I'm going to go grab lunch, and then back to work...
Push-ups failed due to laziness and Jim being out of town. We started over on week 1 last night, we'll see how it goes.
Toying with ideas for wedding websites. Was thinking about using my stanford webspace: www.stanford.edu/~kayte
But I'd like to not have it just be KAYTE, since Jim is approximately 1/2 of this wedding. This also requires learning html again. A good skill to have, but I don't know if I have the time or patience right now. Also thought about weddings.com website: kayteandjim.weddings.com
A desirable enough site name to give to relatives and other invites, but the cookie cutter website style leaves something to be desired. But it does adequately convey the information.
Am now thinking about creating a blogger site, and using it as a website, not as a blog, like this: http://thewilderclarkwedding.blogspot.com/
But for now, I'm going to go grab lunch, and then back to work...
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
It's Tuesday at 8pm. This means that TLC should be showing "Say Yes to the Dress" a silly wedding dress show. My ComcastTV Guide says the dress show is on, but what's really on? A show about morbidly obese people. I just watched a minute of it thinking it was the end of a show, not the beginning of one, and saw way too many pictures of naked 700 hundred pound men. Just thought I'd share.
In actual news, Jim and I have set a date. And a location. The location is Peterson Grove in Sanborn Park Saratoga. The ceremony site is a wood deck in a redwood grove. The reception will be in a covered picnic area. It's frikkin gorgeous.
In actual news, Jim and I have set a date. And a location. The location is Peterson Grove in Sanborn Park Saratoga. The ceremony site is a wood deck in a redwood grove. The reception will be in a covered picnic area. It's frikkin gorgeous.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Quick post.
1-I've started doing pushups with Jim, we're on a training program to get to 100 pushups in 6 weeks. I'm dubious. I'm also very sore. Oh, and I'm doing 'bench pushups' AKA pushups against a chair or counter.
2-Apparently cohabitating doesn't raise my risk of divorce (cause you know, I was so worried about that)
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm?csp=34
• The odds of divorce among women who married their only cohabiting partner were 28% lower than among women who never cohabited before marriage, according to sociologist Daniel Lichter of Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y.
1-I've started doing pushups with Jim, we're on a training program to get to 100 pushups in 6 weeks. I'm dubious. I'm also very sore. Oh, and I'm doing 'bench pushups' AKA pushups against a chair or counter.
2-Apparently cohabitating doesn't raise my risk of divorce (cause you know, I was so worried about that)
http://www.usatoday.com/news/health/2008-07-28-cohabitation-research_N.htm?csp=34
• The odds of divorce among women who married their only cohabiting partner were 28% lower than among women who never cohabited before marriage, according to sociologist Daniel Lichter of Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Your result for The Which Lolcat Are You? Test...
Longcat
61% Affectionate, 30% Excitable, 40% Hungry
Protector of truth.
Slayer of darkness.
Loooooong.
Longcat may seem like just a regular lengthy cat, but he is, in fact, looong. For proof, observe the longpic.
It is prophesized that Longcat and his archnemesis Tacgnol will battle for supremacy on Caturday. The outcome will change the face of the world, and indeed the very fabric of lolcatdom, forever.
Be grateful that the test has chosen you, and only you, to have this title.
To see all possible results, checka dis.
Slayer of darkness.
Loooooong.
Longcat may seem like just a regular lengthy cat, but he is, in fact, looong. For proof, observe the longpic.
It is prophesized that Longcat and his archnemesis Tacgnol will battle for supremacy on Caturday. The outcome will change the face of the world, and indeed the very fabric of lolcatdom, forever.
Be grateful that the test has chosen you, and only you, to have this title.
To see all possible results, checka dis.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Dresses! As a recently engaged woman who works at a desk job, and generally enjoys putzing about the internet, I love reading about weddings. I read wedding blogs:
www.offbeatbride.com and www.apracticalwedding.com and I look at more mainstream sites for ideas www.theknot.com and www.marthastewartweddings.com.
I also love www.etsy.com for ideas about wedding and non-wedding crafty stuff.
Being engaged for approx. 1 month now, I've looked at lots of pictures of wedding dresses. I've seen a lot of beautiful things, and some impressively horrid things. I don't actually know what I want in a wedding dress, but I have ideas:
Straps and/or sleeves. I'm not a strapless kind of girl. I don't like wearing it normally, and it seems it's what a damn lot of brides do. Not for me. I also don't like how a lot of strapless tops seem to cut your body into torso and neck, and shoulders with a straight line. I'm also not a big fan of spaghetti straps, unless the top has an interesting shape. I like Vnecks, scoopnecks, etc.
I also like a little poof in my life. Not a cinderella ball gown, but a nice A Line to help make my hips look in proportion to the rest of me, and so I can move my legs. Mermaid dresses I think are bizarre and rediculous. Why would I want something tight through my stomach, hips, butt and thighs, only to flare out at the knee?
I don't want a train because we're getting married outside. I don't even know if I want a floor length gown.
I like a little detail, a little somethin somethin. Nothing too plain, nothing too white, nothing too normal.
While watching so you think you can dance last night I found an etsy shop that's amazing. It http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5715631 . The seller also has her own website: www.ktjean.com
She makes custom dresses out of vintage slips and other vintage/antique fabrics. I love the style of her dresses, and would love to be able to customize my dress in this style...

See, pretty camisole top. Nice lace detailing...

And here's really the signature style, the layers of poof from different fabrics. Can be made into shirts, short dresses, long dresses...

Here's a more 'white wedding' look with the long skirt. The skirt I think is beautiful, but the top on this one, not so much. But that's ok, because i don't have to have this exact dress :)

And a back view, butt bow! :) This one has a fuller top, which I think is beautiful too.
So yeah, I'm impressed. Her etsy site warns that she can only take limited orders because the pieces are custom made, which really makes me want to email her today, and beg her to make me a dress. But really, this is only the 1st gown I've fallen in love with. And I haven't even gone to any dress stores and tried on anything. I should probably do that before I decide to purchase something on the internet, and not even try it on...
So I'm waiting. Waiting to figure out the wedding budget, find a location, set a date, and do some actual live-dress shopping.
But I just had to share. Pretty!
www.offbeatbride.com and www.apracticalwedding.com and I look at more mainstream sites for ideas www.theknot.com and www.marthastewartweddings.com.
I also love www.etsy.com for ideas about wedding and non-wedding crafty stuff.
Being engaged for approx. 1 month now, I've looked at lots of pictures of wedding dresses. I've seen a lot of beautiful things, and some impressively horrid things. I don't actually know what I want in a wedding dress, but I have ideas:
Straps and/or sleeves. I'm not a strapless kind of girl. I don't like wearing it normally, and it seems it's what a damn lot of brides do. Not for me. I also don't like how a lot of strapless tops seem to cut your body into torso and neck, and shoulders with a straight line. I'm also not a big fan of spaghetti straps, unless the top has an interesting shape. I like Vnecks, scoopnecks, etc.
I also like a little poof in my life. Not a cinderella ball gown, but a nice A Line to help make my hips look in proportion to the rest of me, and so I can move my legs. Mermaid dresses I think are bizarre and rediculous. Why would I want something tight through my stomach, hips, butt and thighs, only to flare out at the knee?
I don't want a train because we're getting married outside. I don't even know if I want a floor length gown.
I like a little detail, a little somethin somethin. Nothing too plain, nothing too white, nothing too normal.
While watching so you think you can dance last night I found an etsy shop that's amazing. It http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5715631 . The seller also has her own website: www.ktjean.com
She makes custom dresses out of vintage slips and other vintage/antique fabrics. I love the style of her dresses, and would love to be able to customize my dress in this style...

See, pretty camisole top. Nice lace detailing...

And here's really the signature style, the layers of poof from different fabrics. Can be made into shirts, short dresses, long dresses...

Here's a more 'white wedding' look with the long skirt. The skirt I think is beautiful, but the top on this one, not so much. But that's ok, because i don't have to have this exact dress :)

And a back view, butt bow! :) This one has a fuller top, which I think is beautiful too.
So yeah, I'm impressed. Her etsy site warns that she can only take limited orders because the pieces are custom made, which really makes me want to email her today, and beg her to make me a dress. But really, this is only the 1st gown I've fallen in love with. And I haven't even gone to any dress stores and tried on anything. I should probably do that before I decide to purchase something on the internet, and not even try it on...
So I'm waiting. Waiting to figure out the wedding budget, find a location, set a date, and do some actual live-dress shopping.
But I just had to share. Pretty!
Monday, July 14, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Q&A with a newly engaged woman:
Q: Have you set a date yet?
Polite answer: We're thinking about sometime next summer.
What I'm really thinking: I'm calling to tell you I'm engaged. I've been engaged for less than a week. Do you really think I've mapped it all out?
Q: So I guess it must be time to start having babies, right?
Polite answer: Not so much...
What I'm really thinking: Fuck off and die. You are not cute or clever. Your comments do not amuse me. Although if I were currently preggo (I'm not) it's more likely we might have a date in mind.
Q: Have you set a date yet?
Polite answer: We're thinking about sometime next summer.
What I'm really thinking: I'm calling to tell you I'm engaged. I've been engaged for less than a week. Do you really think I've mapped it all out?
Q: So I guess it must be time to start having babies, right?
Polite answer: Not so much...
What I'm really thinking: Fuck off and die. You are not cute or clever. Your comments do not amuse me. Although if I were currently preggo (I'm not) it's more likely we might have a date in mind.
Monday, June 16, 2008
My new favorite picture:

After American Gladiators, and stuffing ourselves full of pie, we couldn't resist a little karaoke to end the evening right. With her stunning rendition of I Will Survive here is Kayte and the Sexy Sammich Men (Dan, Brian, Jim & Vasily).
Super thanks to Erin for capturing the action :)
After American Gladiators, and stuffing ourselves full of pie, we couldn't resist a little karaoke to end the evening right. With her stunning rendition of I Will Survive here is Kayte and the Sexy Sammich Men (Dan, Brian, Jim & Vasily).
Super thanks to Erin for capturing the action :)
Mini-update!
Last weekend I went to Boulder and visited Melissa:

And I went to Jen's wedding!

Jen the beautiful bride, Rochelle the beautiful bridesmaid, and me the beautiful bouquet catcher.
Then my week consisted of
Monday: American Gladiators!
Tuesday: Jim's birthday - Fondue with Vasily & Erin.....mmmmmmmmmm
Wednesday: Jim's birthday celebration with Big Jim, Barbara and Christina. We cooked fish tacos, stuffed tomatoes, and couscous with tofu and bellpeppers and cilantro-mint yogurt sauce
Thursday: Jim worked on homework and I tried not to distract him
Friday: asleep at 6:30. Woke up at 9 to watch Battlestar Galactica. Fell asleep on the couch waiting for it to come on. Jim woke me up calling at 11:30. Fortunately Battlestar ran again at midnight, so I got to see it.
Saturday: Tattoo!!

Note: Try not to step on your tattoo artist's fingers, especially prior to getting tattooed. Oops.

Getting my tattoo. This is Sasha from Dragonfly Ink. She was phenomenal.
My leg however, was super bloody. I'll show you pictures of the tattoo when it's done healing, right now it's really red. And yeah, the red in the flower you see here, that would be blood. I didn't bleed that heavily for my other tattoos, so I'm not sure why this one was different. Oh well, it'll still heal and be beautiful.
Rochelle and Carey also got periwinkle tattoos in other styles on other parts of their bodies.
Last weekend I went to Boulder and visited Melissa:

And I went to Jen's wedding!

Jen the beautiful bride, Rochelle the beautiful bridesmaid, and me the beautiful bouquet catcher.
Then my week consisted of
Monday: American Gladiators!
Tuesday: Jim's birthday - Fondue with Vasily & Erin.....mmmmmmmmmm
Wednesday: Jim's birthday celebration with Big Jim, Barbara and Christina. We cooked fish tacos, stuffed tomatoes, and couscous with tofu and bellpeppers and cilantro-mint yogurt sauce
Thursday: Jim worked on homework and I tried not to distract him
Friday: asleep at 6:30. Woke up at 9 to watch Battlestar Galactica. Fell asleep on the couch waiting for it to come on. Jim woke me up calling at 11:30. Fortunately Battlestar ran again at midnight, so I got to see it.
Saturday: Tattoo!!

Note: Try not to step on your tattoo artist's fingers, especially prior to getting tattooed. Oops.

Getting my tattoo. This is Sasha from Dragonfly Ink. She was phenomenal.
My leg however, was super bloody. I'll show you pictures of the tattoo when it's done healing, right now it's really red. And yeah, the red in the flower you see here, that would be blood. I didn't bleed that heavily for my other tattoos, so I'm not sure why this one was different. Oh well, it'll still heal and be beautiful.
Rochelle and Carey also got periwinkle tattoos in other styles on other parts of their bodies.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
The cost of driving.
Gas prices go up, and it sucks. It inspires me to do math, so that I can use math in an attempt to convince myself to take the bus.
I drive 32 miles roundtrip for work. My car gets 25mpg. I figured out it costs $0.18 a mile, which means that it costs me $5.76 a day in gasoline just to drive to and from work.
The bus on the other hand is free. It just happens to take an hour instead of 30 minutes.
Maybe $5.76 isn't a lot of money, but that comes out to almost $1500 a year. And if I took the bus to work just one day a week I'd save $300 a year.
This sounds so nice in writing... why is it so hard to actually do???
Gas prices go up, and it sucks. It inspires me to do math, so that I can use math in an attempt to convince myself to take the bus.
I drive 32 miles roundtrip for work. My car gets 25mpg. I figured out it costs $0.18 a mile, which means that it costs me $5.76 a day in gasoline just to drive to and from work.
The bus on the other hand is free. It just happens to take an hour instead of 30 minutes.
Maybe $5.76 isn't a lot of money, but that comes out to almost $1500 a year. And if I took the bus to work just one day a week I'd save $300 a year.
This sounds so nice in writing... why is it so hard to actually do???
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