Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 6: That 50's Show

Uck. Kind of dreading this episode. I guess Roseanne is actually out on maternity or something? I'm not really sure why we have these couple of silly episodes in a row.

I want to like it. It is kind of interesting that they try to incorporate issues like the role of women in family/society, and the whole spoof aspect, but it's just so heavy handled.

Glad that's over.

Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 5: The Final Chapter

Roseanne: Gypsy
Jackie: Witch - wicked witch of the midwest
dan: clown
dj: weird wife beater and mustache dude
Mark - lepracaun?
 David: Weird Wolfman

Ok, we're totally into weirdo end of show mode. The outtro even has a bit where one of the writers asks what the heck this show is about.
Roseanne is apparently having a boy, not a girl, and wants to name him Jerry Garcia Conner. And Dan's all "cool..."
Most of it is Roseanne hallucinating while having her baby on Halloween. Silly. But has some fun clips from previous seasons.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 25: Sherwood Schwartz: A Loving Tribute

David and Darlene are back to David and Darlene. David is about to graduate from high school and wants to go to Europe, but Darlene wants him to stay.
Random Gilligans island dream sequence. This is the last ep of season 7, what a dumb way to end the season. Not a huge fan of this.

Roseanne doesn't look pregnant she just has big boobs.

Maybe I'd appreciate this more if I'd seen Gilligan's Island.
At least it's not all dream sequence. Oh but now we have the cast of Gilligan pretending to be Roseanne characters. sure.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 24: Couch Potatoes

The Conners are a Neilson family!
Fred and Jackie are dunzo. Sad.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 23: The Birds and the Frozen Bees

Watching the OJ trial.
Darlene wants to get back with David. But David has a date.
Roseanne has to pep talk Darlene into talking to David. Success!!!

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 22: The Blaming of the Shrew

DJ is dating Lisa. Who is super pushy. And played by Ashley Johnson, who I recognize from... Something.

Fred and Jackie are in counseling with Ellen Degeneres. Who's a loom. No wonder this doesn't work.

Roseanne is making fried chicken. With  bisquick. Nom.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 21: Happy Trailers

$1500 in the bank. But they have to prepay the county for the baby which is $2000. Yikes!

Becky and Mark are buying a 'super cute amazing trailer.' Or something.
Darlene has short hair. Shorter than David's hair even.
Sharon Stone as a freaky trailer park resident.

Becky is such a snot sometimes.

Darlene has an orange velour sweater with leopard print accents. WTF.

Heart to heart wih Darlene and Roseanne. Cute.

Roseanne: Season 8, Episode 1: Shower the People you love with stuff

Season 8! Now Roseanne looks preggers. Dan has a beard and David has shorter hair. And the return of Becky number 1!
I really like the intro with the characters morphing over the seasons.
They have $400-$500 cribs. Yikes that's a lot of money.
"Don't you remember all those times I made you pudding?" -Roseanne
New Becky likes to wear short skirts and short shorts.
It's Crystal! She has bright red hair. And Nancy. Also with red hair. Haven't seen either of them in a while.

I heart the Patty Duke identical cousins out-tro.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 20: Husbands and Wives

I think since Fred has been on the way out they started writing less funny lines and scenarios for him, but this week we have a couple of funny Fred moments. I love Fred and Dan in Fred's hotel room when Dan packs his pants. And I love Mark trying to show Fred how it's ok for your wife to have female friends.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 19: All about Rosey

Clip show. DJ pretending to be young Roseanne and Joseph Gordon Levitt being young Jackie. Fun clip show because this show has so many great moments. Love it.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 18: Single Married Female

It's sad to watch Fred and Jackie fall apart. I really like Fred. But I also see how they just aren't compatible.

Love Jackie freaking out when she realizes she's cheating.

Really strange exit sequence with Roseanne talking about getting pregnant by a bodyguard by going to a fertility clinic.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 17: Lost Youth

Jackie want to have the sex in the car. I like that they keep talking about 'the sex'. Fred is boring and Jackie wants excitement. Dans sex advice- guys love ruts. Women want adventure.

David has an extra ticket for the dead show. And he did good at the SATs.

Mark is such a jerk. And David is too nice.

Fred is bad at making sexy times with Jackie.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 16: Sisters

DJ wants to spend time with Andy. And DJ is weird.
Dan lied to Darlene to get her home for the weekend. He pretended nana Mary died. Apparently Darlene and Becky and fighting.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 15: Bed and Bored

Dan can't find his good pants. The house goes to hell in a hand basket without Roseanne.
Deep conversation with Jackie and Bev about being a bad mother.
Bev is so well written.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 15: My Name is Bev

Bev got a DUI! And now she has to go to AA. And discovers she's an alcoholic.
"A woman of the 90s has to watch out for the herpes." -Bev to Darlene.
Hipsters!
And Bev is super obnoxious about her new found sobriety.
So now Dan, Jackie and Fred are getting drunk in the garage.
Angry alcoholism argument.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 13: Rear Window

Roseanne has less black wig looking hair this year. It's reddish brown.
New neighbors! Nudists! Old nude neighbors.
Drunk mark. David and Becky out together.

Mark tries to talk to Darlene to get David away from Becky.
Love triangle! David tells Darlene she was abusive and they didn't connect. Darlene is sad

Dan tells his neighbors he can't stop staring at them naked. Roseanne flashes them. Anazing scene.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 12: The Parenting Trap

The parenting trap. David is dating Dinah.   Christmas! Darlene is home. So David gets to bunk with DJ.

Talking to another of DJ s teachers. This one thinks DJ is 'special'. This is kind of dumb. He doesn't want to put his homework on the board and claims he doesn't understand. Wouldn't he still be turning in his homework or taking tests? Shouldn't the teacher have some other way of determining his intelligence?
Getting out the Christmas lights. Looooots of lights.
DJ is sporting wood. And now Dan, Mark, and Fred are discussing ways to hide erections. Fascinating.
Reintroducing the David crushing on Becky thing.

Hehe Roseanne tells DJ her first period story. That went well....

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 11: Maybe Baby

Jackie has an awesome ostrich sweater. I want that sweater.

DJ is playing gameboy. I remember that one. It's super thick and he has the extra light since it isn't backlit.
This is a dramatic episode. It's also a little weird, Roseanne thinks Dan and everyone else are pressuring her to have an abortion. But they really aren't they are just trying to be supportive and everyone is stressed.
Finally at the doctor! Her doctor is the same dr as the one from Everwood. Amnio is clean. And the doc is kind of a douche. And says the baby is a girl. But it doesn't turn out that way. But he is healthy. So good enough.
Weirdo flash forward ending.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 10: Thanksgiving 1994

As we get ready for Thanksgiving 2012, I get to see Thanksgiving from 18 years ago. Holy crap, that's a long time ago.

Rossanne had an amnio.Jackie tells Roseanne to get an organic turkey. And there are abortion protesters at the doctors office. Roseanne tricks them away. Excellently done.
David and Mark are recruited to play in the "annual" football game. You know, the one we've never seen before.  Mark doesn't know how to play football. And David is "helping" him.
Nana Mary got married! To Joe.

Onos. Roseanne called to find out the sex of the baby but the nurse couldn't say anything and they have to wait for the dr to call back... Over thanksgiving. Scary.
Nana Mary had 2 abortions when she was young. Bev is horrified.
And now Roseanne is scared something is wrong and she might have to have an abortion. Scary. And Roseanne is super defensive.
Roseanne needs another amnio. Waiting...

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 9: White Men Can't Kiss

DJ doesn't want to kiss a girl at school for a play. Because she's black. And Dan might be subtlety racist too. "Everyone's a little bit racist some times..."
So he asks his token black friend what to do... and to speak on behalf of all black people. Yeah, that doesn't go so well.
And maybe Roseanne's a bit racist too... Wow there's no resolution in this episode. 
That's it... everyone's a little bit racist. Does DJ actually kiss the black girl? Who knows...

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 7: Follow the Son

"Bitch bitch bitch, it's all you ever are."
Hehe Joseph Gordon-Levitt again as DJs friend. He's so young and awkward.

David is spying on Darlene's new bf, Jimmy. And being super weirdo about it.
Jimmy and Darlene are thinking about moving in together. Why would you do that with a rebound college boyfriend as a sophomore.

DJ is going to work at the garage with Dan. Roseanne is jealous.

How is David still in Chicago spying on Jimmy? Hehe, and Jimmy thinks David is gay.

Roseanne and Jackie are hiring a busgirl to replace DJ. And it's a hot blond ditz - Stacey.

Random faux porn out-tro. ooooh kay. Ah, so apparently the actor who plays Stacey is an exporn star- Traci Lords.

Rpseanne: Season 7, Episode 6: Skeleton in the Closet

Halloween episode! How topical!
I love David trying to explain gayness to DJ.
Costumes:Roseanne: Prince. 
Dan: Cowboy. 
Bev: Hobo. 
Leon: Hillary Clinton(pre-pantsuits). 
Fred: Batman
Jackie: Robin

Hehe, Dan and Fred in bed together. Man love.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 5: Sleeper

Mark thinks David is spending too much time with Becky.
David had an adult dream. DJ is being feisty with David.
David wants to move out. Isn't he still in high school?
Hehehehe the sex dream was about Roseanne. Akward!  Nice Becky and David moments.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 4: Girl Talk

This is a hilarious episode.
Becky and mark aren't having the sex!
And Jackie and Fred aren't having the good sex. "You mean he gets in the elevator but he doesn't go down?"
Fred wants to open up with the men folk. But he fails at relating to Mark.
Hehehehe. This is an awesome scene. All the guys realize that their women all talk to each other and the men all hear the deets. We know too much we know too much we know too much...

Mmm leftover peas for Becky.
And 'coffee' with David.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 3: Snoop Davey Dave

Yay back to tivoed episodes!
David is distraught and Dan can't handle it. Dan just wants to eat an orange Popsicle.
Life advice: walk it off.
Now Mark tries to help. And fails.
Roseanne's turn. And now David is trying to be tricksy and claim Darlene does drugs. She tried acid! Twice!
Roseanne has really ugly plaid shorts.
 Hehe, rebellion by marrying a republican.
Darlene is going back to school! Yay.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 2: Two for One

Sour milk! Roseanne puts it back in the fridge.
David tells Roseanne he wants to marry Darlene someday.
Saltines and cheesewiz as a midnight snack.
Oatmeal with syrup and brown sugar for a healthy breakfast.

Darlene was at a trashy hotel with another guy. Jimmy. From school. And David knows about it.

Dan is doubting having another bebe. But he just wants a head rub and wants to know its all ok.

Maternity clothes shopping! Everything is ugly. Roseanne is 42. Maternity fake belly to try on clothes. Weird. That is a hideous dress.

Roseanne's hair looks fake.

Darlene chooses Jimmy over David. Sad face.

Roseanne: Season 7, Episode 1: Nine is Enough

Dan has an armpit cyst and has to shave and apply ointment.

Hello season 7, and back to YouTube.
Hello black bra strap Becky.

Mark and David manlove! Yay communicable diseases.

Dan is bad at shaving his underarms.
"Now I see why you get so excited when I shave my legs once a month." - Roseanne.

Dan wants mark and Becky to leave.

Fred has no hair anymore! It's cropped close. And he and Jackie are cosleeping with bebe.  And Fred doesn't like it.

Kicking out Mark and Becky. But they are trying to have a baby! So obviously they can't go. Considering they don't have a baby during the next 2 seasons, that's not going so well.
Jackie is now an overprotective mom. No one can hold little Andy. And she constantly turns him so he has a round head.

Roseanne and Dan romance time. And Roseanne is pregnant!!  Babies everywhere! Woah.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 25: Altar egos

Jackie thought she heard a creeper so she called Dan. Fred is jealous. Fred and Jackie do not have a good time at things. They seem to always be in a tiff.
Fred confronts Dan about Jackie having a crush on him. And Fred punches Dan.

Jackie says she's stuck in a dead end job...she's coowner of a restaurant. How is that dead end.? Other than the fact she has no health insurance.

Yay it's time to get married! In the living room at the Conners house. Omg man love. That was amazing. Dan gave Fred an awesome smooch.

Jackie is leaking milk in her wedding dress. And she's breast feeding while getting married. Woo public breast feeding.
And married! Woo!

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 24: Isn't it Romantic?

Jackie is mad because Fred asked to move in rather than to get married.

Roseanne tells Fred to shave his goatee. Nooooo men with goatees are awesomesauce.

Aww.  Darlene is nervous to hold baby Andy.
David said its a woman's obligation to have babies. I love how feminist this show is that this is a debate.

Fred no beard! Will you marry me? And he's trying really hard to be romantic. It's so cute and a little awkward.
And now we are in a weird tv dream sequence with Roseanne.

Dan is now trying to be romantic with wine, fire, and a dirty VHS rental. Fail.

I like the sexism competition between Becky/mark Darlene/David. As it relates to parenting and bringing in the $.
Dan buys Roseanne a dishwasher to be romantic. So cute.  It's the kind we used to have that hooks up to the sink and wheels out of the way

Jackie accepted Fred's romantic proposal. Hooray. Except that they're going to get divorced, which is sad. I like Fred. Maybe it'll work out this time.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 22: I Pray the Lord this stove to Keep

Darlene's working at the diner?
David got his nosed pierced because Darlene made him :)
DJ is going to church!

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 21: Lies my Father told me

Dan tries to blame his dad for his mom's mental health. He is also not ready to use humor to diffuse the situation.
I like Darlene and David's DJ trick to make him think he's crazy.

Ohh, Dan's drunk and going crazy at his Dad's. And Lonny tries to stand up to him.

Dan's Dad REAAAALLLLLY doesn't want to talk about it.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 20: Past Imperfect

Dan's Dad isn't paying alimony, so Dan has to give his mom $400. But Roseanne is worried she's going to do something loopy with it.

Jackie has a new short bob. Seems like lots of new mama's opt for shorter hair.

Dan is a good feminist.

Dan's mom is cray cray. Dan had to take her to the looney bin.
And since of course they don't talk about things like mental health, it's even harder.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 19: Labor Day

Jackie is 3 days late to deliver:
"I have a 3 day old child inside of me!" - Jackie
She is gigantic. And now has a outie nipple looking belly button.

Dan advises Fred to wear a cup in the delivery room.

Jackie's water broke. And now Roseanne took her to her house to grab crosswords and a bag of stuff for the hospital.

No insurance, just a public aid medical card. They want to send her to county. But she's having one of them emergency births.

Has Laurie Metcalf already given birth? Her stomach no longer looks ginormous.
They can't find Fred! Where'd he go? How far would he really be when he know's Jackie is about to pop? How did people do this before cell phones.

"Jackie, you haven't shaved your legs. My god, the baby's liable to be born with rugburn. " - Bev

There's Fred! Whew. Being the manly man. Demanding that they both stay in the room. And promptly passing out.

Are we really seeing the birth from the babies perspective? Yes we are. 

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 18: Don't ask, Don't tell

Nancy's dating Sharon, and they are all going to go dancin'.
The return of Dean! Becky's ex. But he's here to take Darlene to school ooOOOoooo.

They make gay bars look way more fun than they actually are. I love how uncomfortable Jackie is about being there. And they can actually hear each other talk.

Sharon kissed Roseanne! And Roseanne is befuddled! She tries to talk to Nancy, who thinks is no big deal. Is it not a concern that Roseanne is married? Regardless of being straight or gay, isn't there a presumed monogamy knowing that she's married?

Jackie thinks that it's not reasonable that Roseanne is freaked out on Dan's behalf. But, spouse kissing another person... bad.

Now Dan is befuddled. And slightly turned on :)

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 17: Don't make room for daddy

Jackie's first ultrasound! Even though she's GIANT.
Crazed Jackie is crazed! Fred is suing for custody.

And we get to see the Garage break room.
I enjoy the dynamic of watching Mark & DJ vs David.
Roseanne and Dan are both bad at pretending when they don't know things.

This is an interesting gendered debate.
The womenz think that since Jackie is growing the baby, that she should have complete control of the baby.
The menz think that since they are the biological fathers that they should get rights to the baby.
David is the tie breaker.

"all guys are jealous. because we all really want to have babies, but we can't." - David
That is apparently the magical get out of jail with girls card.

Jackie and Fred are back together!

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 16: Everyone Comes to Jackie's

Darlene comes home. And Dan wants to take her to get a sundae. In the middle of winter.
Uh oh, theyr're in the basement. I think this is one of the first times we see the basement as a pseudo-bedroom.
Dan catching them making out in the basement. Whew. Intense.

Yay, David is coming home! And David is being super awkward, I love it. "When we're having our... tenderness"

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 15: David vs. Goliath

Scared David is scared.
Dan punched a hole in the wall!

I love when David thinks Jackie is coming on to her. Hilarious.
Obvious attempts to guilt Dan into changing his mind about David.

So far David is still at Jackie's.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 14: Busted

Trouble living with your boyfriend as a teenager? Who'da thunk. I'm still amazed that David just dropped out of school essentially.

And trouble with marriage when you're still teenagery and eloped at 17. Mark doesn't want to come back.

Mark's friend's name is Roy-al! I <3 a="a" actually="actually" bratty="bratty" but="but" canoe.="canoe." care="care" douche="douche" he="he" his="his" isn="isn" it.="it." mark="mark" nbsp="nbsp" not="not" of="of" p="p" s="s" smart="smart" t="t" take="take" to="to" wants="wants" wife.="wife.">
Oh noes! Roy-al spilled the beans. Mark is trying to be a good guy and help get David from Chicago.

Dan is making grilled cheese for dinner. 

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 13: Suck up or Shut up

Is this a new theme song, or am I just not used to the one this season yet?
Carol Brady!

What I've gathered from the episode so far is that networking is about telling really lame jokes and pretending to think that other people's lame jokes are funny.

Mark isn't going to school, he's drinking at the Lobo! That ho.

Elijah, man, that's a bad name for a kid. No wonder he's a weirdo.

I really want the lamp that the Conner's have in their living room.

And there's a cameo by some soap opera stars I don't know. Apparently Dan doesn't know them either. Luke and Laura. I prefer Luke and Lorelai.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 12: White Trash Christmas

Roseanne and Dan can afford to send Becky to community college! It's scary that they couldn't pay for community college before...

The neighborhood association wants them to not put up horrible decorations. So of course, they are going to put up even more tacky horrible decorations. Love it. 

"Why can't either of you take me seriously?" - Becky

"Because you have words on your butt!" - Roseanne

Male bonding on the roof. 

Yess, beer can wreath. So festive! And barking dogs singing Jingle Bells. 

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 11: The Driver's Seat

No health insurance at the diner. Yeah, that's no good.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 10: Thanksgiving 1993

Mmm hamburger helper for dinner. Since when was Becky back in the credits? They seem longer. Yup music is longer.

Jackie is suddenly über pregnant
"We're a fertile people, Jackie"- Fred.

Ooh. Bev got pregnant with Roseanne before she was pregnant. And bev freaks out when everyone finds out. Bev is so dramatic I love it.

Dan and mark come to fisticuffs. We don't actually get to see the shot tho.

I like that they hit each other and both feel better and now everything is better.

David and Darlene have an Emo Mac and cheese dinner in her apt in Chicago for thanksgiving.

Roseanne: Season 6, Ep 9: Homecoming

Becky and mark! The first time this season! New Becky!
25th football reunion for Dan. And he has a pimple. That Roseanne wants to pop. Hehe.
And new Becky is still bratty.

Carrot sticks and celery with ranch.

Ahh reliving their glorious youth of high school days. Ooh and Dan gets in trouble for the second time in as many episodes.

Becky and mark are going to move in back to Lanford to get back on their feet.

Roseanne: Season 6, Ep 8: Guilt by Imagination

Phyllis zimmer is dans blast from the past girl.

Fred is funny. He's a well written character. Very deadpan, and bromancy with Dan.

Roseanne and Dan had the good sex!
Mmm pudding with milky way bars.

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 7: Homeward Bound

Darlene is home again! She comes home like every weekend!

DJ is on masturbating sprees in the bathroom.

Fun family time at the dinner table. DJ gets a lock for his bedroom door.

David says he wants to go to Michigan to live with his mom. But he's secretly going to go live with Darlene. OoooooooOOO. I had forgotten that he's still in high school at the time, so he's essentially dropping out of high school to live with Darlene and bum around. Cray cray

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 6: Halloween V

Festivating he diner!

Nancy is worried Dan doesnt like her.

A guy asked Darlene to a Halloween party. But it's no big thang. Uh huh suuuure.

David calls soda: "pop". And has a new girl, Sally. I have a hunch it's alll a rouse

I wan to make an apron with the chicken and egg print that Roseanne wears.

David and Sally are going to go as Romeo and Juliet 6 months after the suicide.

Roseanne thinks a stick up is a prank. Well, it was. Whew.
Dan gets his nose broken accidentally by nancy.
Dan says he doesn't want to go to the hospital on Halloween ever again. But he will! With his next baybay.

No trouble in teen town, the d and d love interests were all a prank
 Good Halloween ep, but there were no costumes! I want Halloween costumes!

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 5: Be my Baby

Sex for babies! Roseanne is making Dan wear boxers and they are on a sex schedule. But Roseanne just got her period. Sad. But good news- Jackie is pregnant with Fred's baby. Jackie wanted Roseanne to be pregnant so they could be preggers together. Just like me and L dubs.

Roseanne is so tan. I love this episode. Such good lines. And character moments.

Like when Jackie announces she's pregnant to bev and then to Fred while he's on the pot.

Roseanne is sad and thinks her body don't work.
Sex in the truck! Hot!

I heart this ep big. babies. what? 

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 2: The Mommy's Curse

Leon again? More inspecting? Good times.

Ooh Jackie is visibly pregnant. You can tell they are trying to hide it. Guess its time to meet Fred. I heart Fred. I saw him on law and order svu recently as a crooked cop.

Jackie goes out with Fred. And they had the sex, with the super spermies!

I love the end of this. Bev sells her share of the restaurant to Leon! It's going to be a new era at the Lanford Lunchbox!

Roseanne: Season 6, Episode 1: Two Down 1 to go

"Thanks dad, you're the best. Sorry bout those teen years. " -Darlene

New opening!  No more pizza now it's Chinese!

I don't blame Roseanne for wanting to take Darlene to college. I'd want to know were my kid was staying.
Woah David wants to get engaged. Darlene thinks its stupid. Or David's just being whiny and manipulating.
Darlene has white tennis shoes this year. I guess she's officially out of the goth dark teenager phase. Except she's still acting super Emo.

It's funny that she appears to be staying in a crap apt rather than a dorm.

I heart mommy and Darlene bonding sleep over.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 23: Glen Gary, Glennrosy

Chris Farley! Roger is a scam artist! Jackie's buying a house!

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 22: Promises Promises

Tim curry as roger! And he's handsome. My mama thinks all guys named roger are weirdos. And she's right in this case.

I love all the plaid. Very hipster. Jim  needs more plaid.

I feel like we haven't seen becky in forever.

Prom fever. I love it. And Darlene's going! Woo early 90s fashion! David and Darlene are going to have sexy times!

Nancy's onesie brown leopard print outfit is ridiculous.

Onos, David can't get it up. I think they're doing it wrong, they both still have all their clothes on. Tv always makes it look like you go from kissing to intercourse with nothing in between.  Aww David couldn't do it.

 They bought a depressed property. For $5k? Or a share of it for $5k I guess.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 21: Playing with Matches

You put your teeth in that mouth? -bev
I need to remember that line.

Why is Molly such a slut?  Geez.
David is so whiny about not getting laid.

I love relationship advice from Roseanne and Dan to David. So good.

Sad Darlene is sad.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 20: It was 20 years ago today

I love the Jackie and Roseanne conversation right above david.

I don't get the expecting gifts for your wedding anniversary. I mean, I'm happy with gifts but it's strange. Like for my parents wedding, I wasnt there, I mean, I. Happy they got married but am I really supposed to celebrate that?

Onos. Lost wedding ring. I'm glad I haven't done that yet. Bill Maher is the photographer for the sexy photo shoot.

I love the sexy Dan photos at the end.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 19: It's a Boy!

Another awesome episode. The scene with Roseanne and David's Mom is so powerful. I feel like it gives hope to the world that Roseanne saw what their home life was like, and took David out of it.

And it still has great funniness. Dan and DJ talking about the power of testosterone in the house. And Dan and Roseanne giving David the house rules. I love it. Makes me so happy.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 16: Wait Til your Father Gets Home

This is the episode where Roseanne & Jackie's Dad dies. This is the first time I've watched it since my dad died. And in the spirit of dead dad's I just went to a memorial service for a coworker's father.

I was interested to see how I reacted, because often when there are plot lines about dead family, especially dads, I get super weepy, but this time not so much.

I really enjoyed the overly empathetic funeral home director. I had a really similar experience at the funeral home we used for my dad. They were really froofy and tried to oversell us things based on our vulnerability.

I also liked how Darlene said that she felt bad for not feeling bad enough. But she had cramps :)

It was nice to see that death didn't wash away all of the bad things their dad did, but it still helped Roseanne to let them go. I'm lucky in that most of the relationship I had with my dad was really good, but I still know what that forgiveness in death feels like.
OK, so now I'm getting teary. Jesus.

I'll end with this - I burned my finger on hot olive oil tonight, and while watching this show, I was trying to use a frozen ketchup packet to take some of the sting off.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episodes Home for the Holidays - Lanford Daze

I've been watching Roseanne on youtube on my iPhone while curled up in bed. It's pretty amazing.
So I have spotty thoughts on these excellent episodes.

I totally forgot David has 2 younger sisters. I feel like the scene with them got cut out of the syndicated version

Darlene looks much older than the last few eps

I also forgot Charlotte worked at the diner

Woah. Hello fishers temper yo. Foreshadowing!

And Darlene writes twisted comics. "Warped and depressing is what's cool now!" -Roseanne

Oooooh this is the episode! I forgot the subplot. This is a really intense one. We find out that Fisher is beating Jackie. And Jackie tries to apologize for his actions. And then Dan beats the crap out of Fisher.

"Oh my god, Dan. You didn't kill him and then go buy chicken, didja?" -Roseanne

Bail is $100
Darlene has to bail out her dad. Priceless.


Crime and Punishment is such a good episode. I get teary whenever I see it. Very real. 
I like the small town everybody knows what's going on, but no one knows the details do they invent them

Amy Sherman is the producer for Roseanne and also didGilmore girls. Apparently now she's doing Bunheads. I feel like maybe I should watch that...

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 11: Of Ice and Men

I think I have about 50 episodes or Roseanne on my DVR. It's great.
It's the beginning of the end with Fisher.      
Jackie broke up with Fisher because he's too young. He's 25, she's 37. Yeah, that's a big gap. But it's half plus 7, so it's ok. Except that he beats her. But we don't know that yet. She has been holding her jacket funny whenever we see her come in. Maybe cause it's just cold outside. But maybe it's because she's protecting herself since he's beating her.

Roseanne; Season 5, Episode 10: Good Girls, Bad Girls

Becky and Mark in bed. Ohh baby.

I love Charlotte, she's so shy and cute. And now she's making meatloaf for the family.

Daisy Chainsaw tickets! OooOOOoooo. And Molly is taking Darlene... not Charlotte. Poor Charlotte.

I love how amorous Dan and Roseanne can be.

Molly the ho! She wants to go get high and make out in a boy's van. Darlene wants to not get high and just go home.

Now it's 4am and she's still not home!

Give her hell, Roseanne!

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 9: Stand on Your Man

The Lunchbox opens! Coffee apparently costs $0.65

Oh no, weirdo at the Lunchbox.

The girls take a self defense class.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 8: Ladies Choice

Nancy comes out as gay! And she's dating Morgan Fairchild.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 7: Halloween IV

Yay Halloween!
Darlene goes as the chick being attacked by birds
DJ goes as Hannibal Lecter all caged up
Baby Roseanne is a Bunny
Child Roseanne is a stabbed nurse
Child Jackie is a Ballerina
Teenage Roseanne is Ginger if they never found the island
Teenage Dan is Fred Flinstone

Dan / Jackie are Marie Antoinette post head getting chopped off
Fisher is a pirate
Crystal is Peter Pan

Roseanne is the Statue of Liberty!

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 6: Looking for Loans in all the wrong places

"I can make you feel like a man David... take out the trash" - Darlene

Dude, DJ is totally outside playing Settlers of Catan by himself.

Theyz gonna have them a bidness!

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 5: Pretty in Black

Darlene's 16th birthday.

Molly the neighbor! The dirty whore! With the perky hair.

Dan tries the loose meat sammich that is to be their destiny.

Darlene's dying her hair.

I love that they are playing Truth or Dare with the girls. And that Roseanne runs around topless, and runs into the new neighbor. Hilarity. I hope I do that sort of ridiculousness when I'm 40.

I also love that Roseanne talks at Dan when he's trying to sleep. I do that to Jim all the time. Although I don't normally talk myself into opening my own restaurant.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 4, Mommy Nearest

Jackie is a cougar! Dating a younger man! It's Fisher! The one who beats her. But not yet. That we know. . .

Jackie is so weird and neurotic. I love it.

Bev after the divorce. She gives each kid $10,000. That's awesome.

Darlene is almost 16, and wants a CD player.

Loose Meat! Jackie's great idea! It's amazing that they can come back from losing the bike shop, and be willing to open another business, one which kicks butt.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 3: The Dark Ages

Yay DVRed episodes!
Oh noes, no power all weekend :(
David and Darlene are working on their comic, and David wants boobies and sleaze.
I love that Darlene is kind of prudish with David.

I love this episode. And this scene. When Roseanne finds out David spends the night, then Darlene says that she can hear them having sex, and had to tell David they were moving furniture. It's just fantastic and funny, and real.

I even love how Dan really doesn't want to talk to Becky, because it's such a real Dad/Daughter dynamic.

Roseanne: Season 5, Episode 2: Terms of Estrangement Part 2

Becky has eloped! And now she's going to come home and get her stuff.

Silly Season 5, it's going to be re-released on DVD in September, but I want to watch them now. So I'm TiVOing them and watching the ones that don't air on youtube. Like this one.

Also, I heart watching David and Darlene. They're cute.

So sad! Goodbye Becky!

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 16: Less is More

I forgot Walter was a re-curing character at the diner.

Roseanne's getting a breast reduction!

I love how awkward Jackie is.

Bologna sammiches for dinner.

Crystal is visibly pregnant this week.

Dream sequence with Doogie Howser, MD! NPH is so young!

And Darlene is being vaguely nice. Yay.

Season 4, Episode 15: The Back Story

DJ wants a Super Nintendo for his 10th birthday.

Roseanne throws her back out. Ouchy.

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 14: The Bowling Show

We get to meet David!! Who is temporarily named Kevin.

Arnie's been on my back to have a baby. - Nancy
Well maybe one of these days he'll get it right. - Roseanne

It's Bonnie's husband Duke! He exists. I think that's the first time we've seen him. Judging from IMBD he's an actual musician.

More Bonnie singing. Yay.

Kevin/David being dopey and flirting with Darlene. Cute/akward. Definately not the same David we love going forward.

Season 4, Episode 13: Bingo

Dan uses a frozen waffle as a teething soother for Crystal's baby Ed.

Going babysitting rate: $5 for the night.

Bingo story line is silly.

Crystal is pregnant again! And cray cray!

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 12: Santa Claus

I've been watching, and not blogging :)

Mrs. Claus at the mall gets $7.50, Santa gets $10.00/hour. So Roseanne is going to be Santa.

I love how the post-cop Jackie gets all tough and cop-like. 


Darlene's friend Karen! The first time she comes out of her emo hidey hole.
Darlene wants to go to a Star Trek convention with Karen.


Becky makes a joke about Mark giving her an engagement ring. Ha, just wait until the end of the season.


Darlene lets Roseanne read one of her stories. It's a Christmas miracle.

Roseanne: season 4 episode 7 Vegas

Darlene doesn't eat meat anymore. She's emo girl! Nancy and Arnie are getting married! In Vegas and paying for Dan and Roseanne. I love the dynamic between Dan and Roseanne. Makes me happy to watch. "say something sexy, Dan" "we're up 85 bucks" onoes a fight! To be continued!

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 6: Trick me Up, Trick me down

Halloween!
This is a really great transition from the last episode, where Kathy the neighbor is super stuck up and hates Lanford and Roseanne.
So they prank Kathy and make her think that Roseanne killed Dan, and is going to kill her next.

DJ is Alfalfa from the little rascals, but he wants to be the Terminator. Now he's the Alfafanator!

Jackie is a brunette again! That was shortlived :)
She's going to the party as Morticia Adams.

Crystal is Elvira. But they look the same :)

Arnie is the ghost of Elvis.
Nancy is an axe murderer.

Dan and Roseanne are a dead ventriloquist and his doll... puppet, whatever those dolls are. Dummy! That's it.

Jackie likes moose guy! Iiiitttssss Booker! But Jackie isn't interested in Booker any more.

Snakes in the bed! Snakes in the bed! Prank from the kids :)

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 5: Tolerate Thy Neighbor

Ugly pieces of crap! Dog statue that holds newspapers, umbrella. Awesome.

I love the small town dynamic, that everyone knows the Conners.

Hehe, Roseanne tries to convince her neighbor that the smalltown vibe is Stepford-wives style fun.

Roseanne, Season 4, Episode 5: Darlene Fades to Black

Darlene is emo! Or depressed.... or a teenager... or something. Well, she is a freshman in high school.
Jackie started trucking school and is much more chipper.
Darlene quit basketball. Sporty Darlene is now emo Darlene! She doesn't  even want to hang out with her friend Marcy.
And she isn't interested in Barry anymore.

Burned meatloaf for dinner, mmmm.

Roseanne:Season 4, Episode 3: Why Jackie becomes a Trucker

ugly dog! Last week DJ was neglected, so this week he wants a dog.
Leon coming over to play poker! Woo guys night.
"If we can't share our feelings with one another, we might as well be men" - Bonnie

Random guy in the poker game, who's he?
Arnie cheated on Nancy with Jackie. Boo. And it's going to be a big secret!

Annnd Leon comes out to the guys at the poker party. Good times.
Dan - "It's OK. That ... happens"

"Hey honey, why didn't you tell me Leon was gay?" - Dan
"What's it matter, you're all PIGS!" - Roseanne

Jackie wants to go to trucker school in Elgin!

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 2: Take my bike, please!

Uh ohs, the bike shop isn't doing well...already :( It's going to be a long sad season.

Jackie went blond. Is now working as a perfume girl at Rodbells. In the most hideous dress evar.
Darlene made spaghetti with 1000 island dressing for dinner.

Hi Art! Have a motorcycle.

Roseanne: Season 4, Episode 1: A Bitter Pill to Swallow

Becky wants the pill! And she asks her mom while wearing a cross necklace. And now Dan is comparing using a new wrench to using Becky :)
Becky's already had the sex! And Roseanne's freakin' out.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 25: The Pied Piper of Lanford

Ziggy! Here to fill everyone's heads with new thoughts and then run away again.
We saw him last season where he got Dan to get back on his motorcycle again.

Becky has short hair again! I really like the scene when Ziggy catches her talking about how dreamy he is. "Like Mark, but more mature"

Hehe, the loan agent is Brad Garrett - the brother from Everybody Loves Raymond.
Ziggy gets cold feet and backs out. Surprisingly smart guy. But Dan and Roseanne have been swept in.

Aaaaand that's the end of season 3!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 24: Scenes from a BBQ

Becky has long hair again. TV magic!
And we get to see Nana Mary, Roseanne and Jackie's mama's mama.

Nana Mary to Roseanne's black friends: "I want you to know, I'm not prejudiced"
Yay old people.

Men standing around talking about grilling and coal stacking. Makes me glad we have a gas grill.

"I know you liked him Mom, but then, you didn't have to sleep with him" - Jackie

Ooh family sing-a-long BBQ. And Bonnie sings super good!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 23: Dances with Darlene

Becky has short hair!
And Darlene is going with Barry to the spring dance! I'd totally forgotten that Barry was so re-curring this season.
Wow, 1991 style dresses. Yowza. And Darlene has one with a giant butt bow.

Yay Darlene the feminist! She gets upset because her mom gets super excited she got asked to the dance, but doesn't care about when she does cool things in sports.

"There's better ways to get back at me - maybe Becky's boyfriend has a younger brother. " - Roseanne.
He does! I'm ready to see David!

Leon is gay. Aha.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 22: Second Time around

Pregnancy test: Pancake butt = boy, bubble butt = girl.
Cocopuffs for breakfast. Unknown casserole for dinner.
Onos, Dan got knocked over in a porta potty by a wrecking ball.
Flashback to Roseanne giving birth to DJ. Dan has a mustache, and Roseanne and Jackie have giant hair.

I want DJs dinosaur wallpaper.

I've been sitting here for 4 episodes, and a minute before the credits come on, the cat finally decides it's time to lay on me. Kitties...

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 21: Trouble with the Rubbles

new neighbors! And they're boring/uptight.
Go Roseanne! Lay the smackdown!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 20: Her Boyfriend's Back

More Mark hating!
And Roseanne is going to ride Dan's motorcycle. Looking ridiculous.

Jackie is thinking about becoming a massage therapist.

And this is the first time that Becky gets the cold shoulder from Dan. About Mark. It's a cycle.

Mark does have really ridiculous hair.
Dan makes chocolate chip milkshakes. Om nom.
"I'm way too young to think about marriage." - Becky at 16. But she gets married at 17!

Vegas Interruptus

Roseannus Interruptus! Oh Roseanne, it's been too long. I'm glad to be back to Roseanne watching.
They bought the girls canned ravioli to nom while they're away for the weekend.
And Crystal is visibly pregnant.

"No booze, no pot, no sex below the neck. And no rap music - I don't like it. " - Dan's rules for the party while they're out of town.

Leon's being a douchecanoe!

The dude Darlene got felt up by is wearing a really ugly sweater. No wonder Darlene doesn't want to date him. She wants Barry, the guy who wanted Becky instead.

They didn't make it to Vegas :( But Roseanne didn't lose her job. And they're dancing to Wayne Newton in the living room.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 18: Communicable Theater

Got to see Jackie act in community theater, with her faux wooden leg and one line. Woo!
This is kind of a painful episode. To see Jackie freak out about not learning the lines to the play is painful, and to see her perform is worse.

Dan being sick and whiny is funny tho. I might do that a little :)

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 17: Valentines Day

Darlene has a crush on Barry, but Barry likes Darlene.

"Run away Becky, like you always do!" -Darlene
Truth.

This is the first time we see Bonnie working at the restaurant, and the first time we meet Leon! I heart Leon.

Toby Maguire as one of Barry's friends! He's so young!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 16: Home-Ec

Oh god, she's going feminist on me...
Onos, DJ's being bullied. So Dan's going to teach him to fight.
Roseanne goes to Darlene's class for career day to tell them about being a mom and homemaker. And they go to the supermarket. They buy generic cornflakes to go in the groundbeef. And scratch off expiration dates from coupons.

"You mean I've been eating generic Frankenberries? " - Darlene

I enjoy this episode.

"Settle down, I'll give my wife a donut to kick your butt!" - Dan

Rosenne: Season 3, Episode 15: Becky Doesn't Live Here anymore

Becky being a little snot. Ahh teenagers.

An old Menuto album? Don't even know who that is, other than Mexican soup.
Becky wants Darlene to lie to cover for her so she can go out with Mark.
An ACDC album? OK,  I know who they are!

I forgot how much drama there is with Mark. He's such trouble. 

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 14: The Wedding

After watching the last episode, I was just thinking that I don't remember Crystal and Ed actually getting married. I just remember them being married.

"Whoever heard of eating salmon at a wedding?" -Roseanne

No - buckets of chicken! Just like my parents <3

Becky and Darlene get to be bridesmaids! In ugly dresses!

Bachelorette party for Crystal! Woo!

Hey, it's AnneMarie, who we met in the principal's office. Yay token blank friend!

Crystal's pregnant! So much drama!

Awesome 1980's wedding dress! Poofy sleeves! And giant veil! And awesome pink bridesmaid dresses on Becky, Darlene and Jackie. And everyone has awesome babies breath in their hair.

Yay! Last minute appearance of Dan as the best man. :)

I love weddings. Jackie caught the bouquet!

Totally didn't remember this episode. So glad I got to watch it. And, I crocheted half of an elephant butt while doing so!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 14: The Courtship of Eddie, Dan's Father

Crystal is wearing what looks like a painters pant suit.

Hehe, Dan's favorite dish is tuna casserole made with macaroni and mushroom soup. Om nom.

They got a VCR! The Connor family leaps into the 80's!

Roseanne is trying to hook up Crystal with a guy from the mall. But she's already hooking up with Dan's Dad! Trouble! Quick switch! Now hook up Jackie!

Ed and Crystal are engaged! They've dated for just over a year. He's 20 years older. Crazytowns.