Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 23: Dances with Darlene

Becky has short hair!
And Darlene is going with Barry to the spring dance! I'd totally forgotten that Barry was so re-curring this season.
Wow, 1991 style dresses. Yowza. And Darlene has one with a giant butt bow.

Yay Darlene the feminist! She gets upset because her mom gets super excited she got asked to the dance, but doesn't care about when she does cool things in sports.

"There's better ways to get back at me - maybe Becky's boyfriend has a younger brother. " - Roseanne.
He does! I'm ready to see David!

Leon is gay. Aha.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 22: Second Time around

Pregnancy test: Pancake butt = boy, bubble butt = girl.
Cocopuffs for breakfast. Unknown casserole for dinner.
Onos, Dan got knocked over in a porta potty by a wrecking ball.
Flashback to Roseanne giving birth to DJ. Dan has a mustache, and Roseanne and Jackie have giant hair.

I want DJs dinosaur wallpaper.

I've been sitting here for 4 episodes, and a minute before the credits come on, the cat finally decides it's time to lay on me. Kitties...

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 21: Trouble with the Rubbles

new neighbors! And they're boring/uptight.
Go Roseanne! Lay the smackdown!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 20: Her Boyfriend's Back

More Mark hating!
And Roseanne is going to ride Dan's motorcycle. Looking ridiculous.

Jackie is thinking about becoming a massage therapist.

And this is the first time that Becky gets the cold shoulder from Dan. About Mark. It's a cycle.

Mark does have really ridiculous hair.
Dan makes chocolate chip milkshakes. Om nom.
"I'm way too young to think about marriage." - Becky at 16. But she gets married at 17!

Vegas Interruptus

Roseannus Interruptus! Oh Roseanne, it's been too long. I'm glad to be back to Roseanne watching.
They bought the girls canned ravioli to nom while they're away for the weekend.
And Crystal is visibly pregnant.

"No booze, no pot, no sex below the neck. And no rap music - I don't like it. " - Dan's rules for the party while they're out of town.

Leon's being a douchecanoe!

The dude Darlene got felt up by is wearing a really ugly sweater. No wonder Darlene doesn't want to date him. She wants Barry, the guy who wanted Becky instead.

They didn't make it to Vegas :( But Roseanne didn't lose her job. And they're dancing to Wayne Newton in the living room.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 18: Communicable Theater

Got to see Jackie act in community theater, with her faux wooden leg and one line. Woo!
This is kind of a painful episode. To see Jackie freak out about not learning the lines to the play is painful, and to see her perform is worse.

Dan being sick and whiny is funny tho. I might do that a little :)

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 17: Valentines Day

Darlene has a crush on Barry, but Barry likes Darlene.

"Run away Becky, like you always do!" -Darlene
Truth.

This is the first time we see Bonnie working at the restaurant, and the first time we meet Leon! I heart Leon.

Toby Maguire as one of Barry's friends! He's so young!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 16: Home-Ec

Oh god, she's going feminist on me...
Onos, DJ's being bullied. So Dan's going to teach him to fight.
Roseanne goes to Darlene's class for career day to tell them about being a mom and homemaker. And they go to the supermarket. They buy generic cornflakes to go in the groundbeef. And scratch off expiration dates from coupons.

"You mean I've been eating generic Frankenberries? " - Darlene

I enjoy this episode.

"Settle down, I'll give my wife a donut to kick your butt!" - Dan

Rosenne: Season 3, Episode 15: Becky Doesn't Live Here anymore

Becky being a little snot. Ahh teenagers.

An old Menuto album? Don't even know who that is, other than Mexican soup.
Becky wants Darlene to lie to cover for her so she can go out with Mark.
An ACDC album? OK,  I know who they are!

I forgot how much drama there is with Mark. He's such trouble. 

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 14: The Wedding

After watching the last episode, I was just thinking that I don't remember Crystal and Ed actually getting married. I just remember them being married.

"Whoever heard of eating salmon at a wedding?" -Roseanne

No - buckets of chicken! Just like my parents <3

Becky and Darlene get to be bridesmaids! In ugly dresses!

Bachelorette party for Crystal! Woo!

Hey, it's AnneMarie, who we met in the principal's office. Yay token blank friend!

Crystal's pregnant! So much drama!

Awesome 1980's wedding dress! Poofy sleeves! And giant veil! And awesome pink bridesmaid dresses on Becky, Darlene and Jackie. And everyone has awesome babies breath in their hair.

Yay! Last minute appearance of Dan as the best man. :)

I love weddings. Jackie caught the bouquet!

Totally didn't remember this episode. So glad I got to watch it. And, I crocheted half of an elephant butt while doing so!

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 14: The Courtship of Eddie, Dan's Father

Crystal is wearing what looks like a painters pant suit.

Hehe, Dan's favorite dish is tuna casserole made with macaroni and mushroom soup. Om nom.

They got a VCR! The Connor family leaps into the 80's!

Roseanne is trying to hook up Crystal with a guy from the mall. But she's already hooking up with Dan's Dad! Trouble! Quick switch! Now hook up Jackie!

Ed and Crystal are engaged! They've dated for just over a year. He's 20 years older. Crazytowns.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 12: Confessions

I love how Bev's character is written. She is such the passive aggressive, backhanded complimenting obnoxious old lady. Like when she talks about other people while they're in the room instead of talking to them. My grandma would do that all the time.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 11: Do you know where your parents are?

"Lady, you have an evil mind" -Dan
"And a body to match" -Roseanne

I heart when Dan and Roseanne relive their youth. They are cute.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 10: Dream Lover

Wednesday is sex day! But there's none to be had!

Crystal has sex dreams about Pat Sayjack. "He's a very tender lover, with a virile and wiry body."
hehehee

Roseanne and Dan having an awkward conversation about their sexual desires. And Dan keeps trying to hide inside his sweatshirt. It's super cute.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 9: Bird is the Word

Becky's principal is Captain Cragen from Law and Order SVU. And he's already bald. And strangely cheerful. And on a power trip.

"She's 16, she gets good grades, she's not pregnant, I'd say that's damn near perfect" - Roseanne about Becky.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 8: PMS, I love you

This episode annoys me a little bit because it's all about how Roseanne is totally horrible once a month on her period. And then she acts completely ridiculous, and drives everybody nuts. But it's so clearly a silly plot device.

Dan's 39th birthday.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 7: Trick or Treat

Happy Halloween!
Jackie is wearing a sad kitty costume.
DJ is a witch - not a warlock... much to his father's dismay
Becky is a prom queen, half prettified, have bloodified.
Dan is all 3 stooges, with one head on each shoulder.
Darlene has an alien poking out of her stomach.
Roseanne is a dude, trucker outdoorsey kind of dude. Very convincing :)

Crystal ordered a Pink Squirrel at the Lobo. Nice.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 6: Becky, Beds and Boys

"His name is Mark Healy and we're going to a party"
It's Mark. The man who will steal Becky away, and turn her into another Backy.
And here he is smoking a cigarette, chewing gum, wearing a leather jacket and ripped jeans. Teenage dreamboat.
"Hey Mark, 2 + 2" -Darlene
"What? " - Mark
"I thought so" - Darlene
Ahh, the start of their wonderful relationship too.

Dan ran into Mark at the Lobo drinking beer. And he's an ass. Much like in the future when Dan and Roseanne pay for Mark to go to school, and he flakes out and Dan finds him at the Lobo.

"You think you can stop me from seeing Becky? " - Mark
"I think I can stop you from seeing tomorrow?" - Dan
False.

"I want to go over to his house and beat the hell out of his mother." - Roseanne
She is a bitch, instead you can just faux-adopt her other son.

"I'm never going to see him again, ever." - Becky re: Mark
False.

I love this show.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 5: Good-Bye, Mr. Right

Hehe, Jackie tackled a naked guy and fell down a flight of steps and hurt her back. Herniated disk. Eww.

Gary's freaking out because Jackie has a dangerous job.

I love Darlene and Becky finding DJs box of doll heads.

And Gary freaking out again. Good-bye Gary. :( Good-bye police job :(

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 4: Like, A new job

Roseanne got a job at Rodbells! Apparently a waitress job in a crazy uniform is better than being the hair wash girl at the salon.

Alyson Hannigan! She's one of Becky's friends who goes to the restaurant where Roseanne is working.

And Roseanne's going down to the basement because she doesn't want to live with Becky. The first of many basement dwellers. Well, maybe not, I guess it's usually just David.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 3: Like a Virgin

Yay! My DVDs of season 3 and 4 have come in the mail. I'm now icing my back after yoga and ready for some quality TV time.

"You're just jealous because I'm anatomically correct." - Becky to Darlene

Becky has totally awesome 1990's style.

Roseanne and Jackie are giving Becky the sex talk. And Jackie is talking about using the sponge as birth control. Is that still around? Wasn't there a Seinfeld episode about Elaine trying to find the sponge? Planned Parenthood thinks it's still available.

And now Darlene is kissing some boy named Brian. In the dark. Lying down! Dirty!

This is the episode where Roseanne talks about shooting hoopies - aka shooting hoops

Roseanne back on track

So I checked Amazon again today:

Roseanne Season 3 is available for pre-order for $12.99, coming out on 4/3/12

Roseanne Season 4 is available for pre-order for $13.49, coming out on 4/3/12

I have now pre-ordered these, and should be receiving them on 4/3 thanks to Amazon Prime (thanks Vasily).

Roseanne Season 5 is still available new for $147.89.... so I guess I'll have to wait a while on that. 2 more seasons to tide me over!

I don't understand

Here are the prices for each of the seasons of Roseanne on Amazon:

Season 1: $5.02

Season 2: $5.49

Season 3: $33.61

Season 4: $87.21

Season 5: $134.99

Season 6: $30.46

Season 7: $23.74

Season 8: $33.97

Season 9: $23.70

WTF?

I'm going to have to take a break from this and consider my options...

Roseanne interrupted

Today is a sad day. I was all prepared to sit on the couch, crochet me some fingerless gloves, and watch several hours of Roseanne. But netflix on demand decided not to have it anymore :(

So now I have to go purchase the DVDs.

Booooooooo.

Roseanne: Season 3, Episode 2: Friends & Relatives

They just got a microwave!

And Roseanne used it to make a meatloaf in 12 minutes. Mmmm.

And it's Arnie! And now he's living with Nancy... who I don't think we've heard of before. He was dating some other chick last season we hadn't seen before. And they're getting married.

And Dan's lending him money, $1500... for an "engagement ring." but really it was a breast augmentation. Dan and Roseanne currently own one of Nancy's boobs.

Roseanne: End of Season 2, and start of Season 3

So I promised to watch all the episodes in 2012, not necessarily live blog them. So I watched Fathers and Daughters and Happy Birthday.

And they were great. Roseanne got her writing room in the basement. And other things happened that were great, but I don't remember because now I'm watching the next episode. I guess that's why liveblogging is so useful :)

New theme song variation for Season 3! And a new hairstyle for Roseanne. And Dan looks reasonable., no more curly mullety goodness. And Becky is punky looking.

Roseanne is taking an at home pregnancy test. With all her friends. And her entirely family.

And Jackie said that Roseanne could get an abortion. Talking about abortion! On the TV! In 1990.

And she's not pregnant...yet :)

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 22: April Fool's Day

It's tax day! Is this how people did taxes before Turbo tax was invented? By hand and with calculators? Yeah, that does look stressful.

"Your Dad and I made enough money last year to live very well - for 6 months. and then we juggled. " - Roseanne

Oh god, the scary (cheesy) audit noise.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 21: Fender Bender

Ah, Meg Wellman hits Roseanne with a car.

I like spacey Roseanne. It's Stephen Root as an attorney! (Milton from Office Space.)

"You know, if I wanted to, I could give you a summons. " -Jackie

"Well, if I wanted to, I could give you a makeover!" -Crystal

I like Jackie trying to act like a badass cop.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 20: To Tell the Truth

Wow, Crystal has an awesome whale sweater.

Gary has poor timing. Jackie is running out the door and Gary hollers: "Let's get married!"

Jackie has such a typical chick complex.

I love Roseanne and Jackie walking through Jackie's wedding in the living room. Since in several seasons, Jackie will get married to Fred in that living room.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 19: All of Me

More stupid looking headbands on Roseanne.

Ohh, Jackie's new boyfriend - Gary.

Gary and Dan are having guy talk. I kind of doubt men actually have conversations like this.

Aww, Jackie is a pushover in her relationship, and just goes along with whatever Gary wants so that he likes her. That really is such a chick thing. And just like in the show, it is poo for functional relationships. "He lets me let him make all the decisions." "He should know, I shouldn't have to tell him that." - Jackie

If I was Roseanne, I'd totally smack Jackie around, too.

Ah the triumph of sex over communication.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 18: I'm hungry

Diet time!

No more fried food? But this is the midwest! Tonight hey appear to be having Chicken nuggets and caesar salad for dinner, with diet coke, oh and white bread.

I love the kitchen phone with the extra long cord. We had one in our kitchen too.

That's some kind of a headband, Roseanne.

I agree, diets do suck. I want to tell her that she needs to eat healthy, and still eat good, rather than try to just not eat anything. Cause that no workie. Hence the angry eating! Raar!

Oh god, sports analogies. I don't even know what a mallomar is.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 16: Hair

Somehow I think this episode is slightly less upbeat than the Lady Gaga song Hair.

One of the things I've noticed recently about Roseanne is how much she and Dan and Jackie spend discussing high school 20 years ago. It's very much the high school was the best part of our lives sort of style. Which is very much not Kayte/Jim style.

Oh, it's where Roseanne gets a job at the beauty shop. i liked this job. Roseanne really doesn't want to take the job because it's so crap, but it actually seems like a pretty good job. The ladies are all nice, it's pretty low pressure.

Oh, and Meg Wellman! Of the Wellman factory, who thinks Roseanne is Roxanne. And Roseanne gets to be slightly bitchy to her, which is awesome too. And they all like her. And she just got a promotion to shampoo girl! Or... shampoo woman.

Oh, and cute Dan looking uncomfortable in the salon. That's awesome.

"You know, if you cut your hair shorter in the front, and let it grow a little in the back, it will make your neck look longer." - Hair girl to Dan advocating the mullet.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 16: Born to be wild

Ziggy! Dan and Roseanne's hardcore friend. And Becky likes his motorcycle.

And Jackie just alluded to loosing her virginity to Ziggy. So she's always liked the bad guys.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 15: An officer and a gentleman

Jackie is playing homemaker while Roseanne is dealing with Dad with broken hip.

And for some reason applesauce is the preferred accompaniment to pot roast. Pork chops would make sense, but pot roast?

I love Dan and Jackie bonding. And Dan telling Jackie she should stop dating crappy guys.

Now Jackie needs a cute happy family. Too bad she never quite gets there :P

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 14: One for the Road

"I know, it's really hard to concentrate on one thing at a time." -Becky I tooootally agree.

Oh god, Becky and her friend are one upping each other, and trying to look cool by saying that they drink.

Darlene is taking care of drunk passed out Becky. Just like she took care of drunk passed out Jackie!

I have no idea what th blank and white clip durin ghte credits is supposed to be...

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 13: Chicken Hearts

It would suck to work in fast food with a bunch of kids.

Crystal and Jackie are doing great with their jobs, and poor Roseanne still has crap job.

Douchy teenagers with mustangs. Just like Danville, except that he didn't get it as a 16th birthday present.

And douchy teenager fired Roseanne. bye bye fast food.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 12: No talking

Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, overcooked green beans, white bread, and milk for dinner. Mmm, midwest gourmet.

And Becky has attitude...oh snap. super attitude. And Darlene is being nice and reasonable. It's so upside down.

Becky wants to show that Roseanne can't control her. Roseanne just wants to know what the hell is going on.

and it's over. ok then.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 11: Lobo Cop

I just finished World War Z, and Lobo was the name of a weapon (lobotomizer) used to kill zombies. In Roseanne, it's the local bar.

Oh, and apparently Roseanne is working at the fast food place and the Lobo. yuck.

I love that Roseanne throws out one of her married friends who's flirting with random chick. It's inconvenient trying to flirt with people since there's only one bar in town, and everyone can see who you're flirting with.

Roseanne grumpy with husband tries to wake her up = Kayte.

Sad, working to0 hard = stress on married life = no sex :(

I love Dan and Roseanne flirting in the bar. They so damn cute.

Roseanne: Season 2, Episode 10: Brain-Dead Poets' Society

I agreee, Darlene. Poetry is lame-sauce. Although I'm not going to grow up to be a writer, and go to fancy school in Chicago for creative writing, and get a job as an ... editor... copywriter? Something, I don't remember.

I'd forgotten how long Becky dated Jimmy Meltrigger.

I love that they know they are going to screw up their kids one way or the other.

Ah, the school orchestra is playing at culture night. Cute. And random dorky Martin kid.

Aww, and Darlene has touching poem about being an akward kid. I love it.

And more bad orchestra playing. So bad. Although maybe if the conductor actually knew how to keep time, that would help.